– Aside from teaching money and
marketing tricks do you have any regarding love? Isn’t that cute? – Yeah, it’s adorable. – My advice on love is very
similar to my advice on, I actually think
my business advice is actually my life advice. If you really unwind it. I think 51/49 really matters
and that’s more relationship now than love. I think that, I always say
the magic is in the gray. I think that’s how love is. It is not calculated. It’s just going to happen in a lot of times in a lot of ways. I actually think all the advice
I give actually executes to a love genre. I think the relationship
part’s more interesting to me. The 51/49, the listening and
counterpunching, a lot of those things the way I think
about customer and business relationships are very much the
way I think of the relationships in general. That’s how I’ve rolled. As far as the falling in love
part, the serendipity, it’s very similar to the things I think
about business where you can’t control what you can’t control
and don’t be crippled by it. That would probably
my biggest advice. Got any love
advice married man? – Yeah. – How long have
you been married? – Going on four years. – That’s awesome.
– Yeah. You want someone
that’ll just complement, that’s an addition to you. My wife is
everything that I lack. I’m being so romantic but
it’s in so many ways it is the cliché that
everybody says it is. I look at my wife and she’s
capable of so many things that I am not capable of that
why I need her in my life. – Sure. I married my mom. – [India] Yeah.
– You married your mom? – Yeah, my wife and my mom have
a lot, a lot of similarities other than my wife is very
organized and structured and my mom’s not. Other than that a lot of
their personalities are similar. – [India] Interesting.
– Yeah. – [India] They say a lot of
guys end up doing that, marrying their mom. – I think the mom is the North
Star for guys they go either hard core to the
left or the right. My dad married the anti-mom. – [India] Maybe it’s
again a generational thing. Maybe it skips.
– It skips. Alright, let’s go India.

So, the question to you
is very business-related. – Please. – As you know, we built
something similar to you, we got inspired off of Crush It! – Yes, yes. – So, did the same
thing, did a lot of jobs, put in a lot of work over the years. – Built leverage. – Yeah, built leverage,
put the trust in the brand. – We have a substantial
business now in seven figures. – But, now that, it’s been
a couple years we’ve kind of stagnated.
– Yeah. – Because, so. – Happens all the time. – So my question to you is, and I think, one of the weaknesses
here, is actually scaling, because we tried to do
everything ourselves, we have a small team,
but how do you actually build that team with you, and
the most important question is that, how do you build
and maintain that culture and that, that love that, the same love that you have for the business, – In other people? – In other people. – (laughs) This is a very, this is a very eastern European question,
is very common things that. So, the answer is, you don’t. If you expect somebody
else to love your business as much as you, you two are
out of your (beep)in’ mind. And, this is something
I tried to teach my dad. As a young kid, I’m like,
Dad, you own the business. How the hell do you want them to love this as much as you do? What you need to do is
several different things. First of all, thank you
for asking me the question. I lived it. I did it at Wine Library,
from people that are more like you. You guys went to zero to
something just like my Pop’s. And how I scaled it was, I
taught him these pillars. And I taught him these pillars. Which is, number one, get over that. It’s over. They’re never going to
love it as much as you. If you’re lucky enough, like I find, like that amazing man behind you, if you can find people that can
love it 8.5 as much of a 10, 9.2 as much of a 10, 9.7 on a holy grail moment out of 10, well then, you’ve won. So, that’s never gonna happen,
and it’s actually completely, completely disrespectful
for you to even want that from somebody else,
’cause you never loved somebody else’s business as
much as you love your own. So, why are you going to try
to make somebody else do that? Number one. Number two, the biggest mistake
people make at this point is you start wanting to cash
in on some of the fruits of this amazing hard work. It’s a little bit more exciting to dress a little bit better, to
live at a better place, to take a vacation, to
do all these things. I get it. The way to scale and grow
is to have the dollars to continue to scale and grow. If you’re doing everything yourself, there’s a couple reasons. One, you’re a perfectionist
and don’t think anybody else can do it. Two, you see other people do it and they do it as an eight to your 10, and that’s not good enough. Three, you do not want to
deploy the money because you want to use those
monies for other things for yourselves and other things. All three are massive vulnerabilities. Fix those three, and you’ll grow. I run my businesses the first five, 10 years of their lives at no profit. And I did it, and people
can say, now, easy for you. Bullshit. I was 28 years old, I
build a humongous business, and I was making $40,000 a year. I had friends that were half
me and a hundredth of me making more money, had better
cars, were having more fun, I was 28 years old, making $40,000 a year, and I build a $30 million
business at that point. That’s eating your own dog food. So, get over yourselves,
and be thankful that people want to work for you, and get
them to an eight or a nine, and you get them to an eight
or nine, by loving them more. What you did for your audience, you need to do for your
employees 10 times more. Biggest mistake entrepreneurs make, they treat their employees worse than they treat their customers. Biggest mistake. Treat them better than
you treated your audience. Then they’ll get from a six to
an eight, and that’s amazing. They’ll never get to a 10. It’s not their business. Number two, decide how much
you want to live great now versus every dollar, every dollar, you take that trip to
Spain, is three dollars less that you make three years from now. – Well, what if you have
still substantial money after vacations, after
everything, and you– – Invest it. – And into? – People. – But, people, how do you
find these people who are still eight even or a seven? – But easy, because you
need to treat them better, because you’ve got them,
you just need to change the way you treated them. And, if they don’t get
there after you treat them way better, you fire
them, and you find people who do react to you giving them more value than they’re providing you. – Cool. – You understand?
– Yeah. – Really?
– Not fully. – So, that’s why I’m not letting you go. Here’s my thing: you kick it. So, how many employees do you guys have? – Uh, around the world, seven right now. – Great, you need to really vet them, the number one thing I
would do if I were you is, I would call them right
after the show, and say, What can I do to make
this much better for you? – We do that. – Good, good. Do you deliver on everyone? – Yeah.
– Great. Well then, you should
be having no problem. Then, then, I’m a little
bit more confused. Then, either you have not
built up enough trust with them for them to tell you the truth, or, you’re just not hiring fast enough. – We’re not hiring fast enough.
– Good. – ‘Cause no, because we’re,
we’re, we’re trying to have everybody be like fully 10. – So, you know, (laughs) – [Alex] We want Eric’s– – [Gary] Eric, Eric was
what number in place, 17? 17. He watched Vayner go from 17 to 200, then, for personal
reasons, he went to Boston. He’s back now, and we’re 600. What Eric can tell you
(laughs), all the VaynerMedia employees from 17 to
200, stick with me here, this is not an insult, he
knows how many four, five, six, seven and eights. You need four, five, six, seven
and eights when you’re big. You can’t make seven 10’s,
that’s not how you scale and win. That’s the secret. It’s not about you guys
getting seven people to a 10, it’s about you hiring 40 people at eights. So how about this, here is
the last question, follow-up.

“just broke up, and I’m
feeling really depressed. “For the last four years,
I’ve had someone to talk to “about literally everything in
my life, and now that’s gone. “It’s hard to believe that
a four year relationship “ended in 20 minutes. “I was saving and planning
on proposing to her “in the next few months, and
now that’s not gonna happen. “I feel empty, I feel
a void, I feel blank. “Got any advice on how “to pick the pieces of my life back up?” – Jesus. (laughs) You couldn’t have warned
me this was coming? Well, ya know, I mean,
if this was my buddy, the first thing I would
desperately try to do is I always feel like the
quickest cure for heartbreak off a long-term relationship
is a scummy move of hooking up with as
many girls as possible. I think it helps in a weird way. I really do. I think,
I really do think it helps. So I think, there’s only
meaningful relationships and then kind of like the
vanity of relationships when you break this down, and so he’s coming from a meaningful place and I think the vanity of it all, like the one, the one
micropositive that guys cliche will think about in this moment is, “Well, I can hook up with chicks,” and I think you have to go all in on that. That will last for about three
weeks to three months of fun and is a softener. I think you need to recognize
that you got off easy. I don’t know if it’s Bronx Tale or one of those gangster movies where the guy owes the kid, the kid owes the kid 20 bucks, and he goes and chases him,
and then the gangster grabs him and goes, “You got off easy. “You found out he was a
scum bucket for 20 bucks.” You know, brother, I
gotta be honest with you. I think you got off easy. I mean, it’s a hell of a lot
better that you didn’t propose, that she was, I give her credit. She, a lot of people, a lot of people mail it in and get married to
people that they ultimately aren’t fully 100% infatuated,
in love, and for full life, and I think people are mailing in. Now that divorce is so easy, I think that people just kinda do it, and I actually think, in a
weird way, you got lucky, and I actually give her a lot of credit that she, after a four and
a half year relationship, had the backbone and the guts
to go through a tough process I’m sure for her as well. And so I actually think you
look at this as a positive. I’m an optimist. It’s easy for me to say, but I think at some level,
you take a step back and recognize as much as it hurts now, it would have been tougher and hurt more to unwind after marriage or, what’s so difficult for so
many, after having children which creates such a different dynamic and becomes extremely difficult. And so, you know, there’s
not much I can say that’s gonna make it
feel a whole lot better. Maybe just talking it out and getting the question on the show. The e-mail was asking
for it to be on the show? Or are we just taking somebody’s random? Oh it just, it came in, OK. So, that’s it man. I think, go hook up with some chicks to ease the pain for a few minutes, and then take a step back and
recognize it’s a positive, and then try to learn from the experience and find out the qualities
you really loved in her and try to replicate them in
the next relationship you have, and you know, maybe even find the things that you didn’t like as much in her and try to close the gap and find somebody you love even more.

– Gary, out here driving in the country. It’s super beautiful. I have a question for you, and my
– Is he driving and recording?
– Question is for someone
– I’m not happy with that kid. – Like myself who didn’t grow up learning tons of discipline like you did, how would I go about starting to learn the discipline that you
use to hustle and grind the way you talk about doing all the time? I can’t seem to get myself to commit. What do I need to start doing to learn to discipline myself like you do? – Two things Caleb. First of all, three things, please do not record while driving ever again in your life. Please God please. Number two, by the way, I know some people jump in and be like Gary, you did a car selfie the other day. – Yes, at a red light. Hardcore red light and
even that’s not great, because you never know if somebody is coming to drill you, but where you going anyway? Nonetheless, two things on the discipline. It is learned behavior. You just have to start doing it. It’s just learned behavior. You have to start doing it. There’s nothing else. You have to start doing it. Now the question becomes
it’s a chicken and egg game. I think the only way
you can learn to hustle and work this hard is
by actually loving it. I could never do anything I don’t love at this rigor and vigor. It’s just impossible. It’s impossible, and so figuring out what you love to do and then just making it learned behavior. I would tell you my team here, I know all of them, I’ve watched them all in a short period of time. They’re all faster than they used to be. They’re faster. Learned behavior. The speed at which my team works even versus the way, India can probably speak to this the best, even to the speed that VaynerMedia works which is every person that comes to Vayner is like this company is fast, but the way we work is even faster. It’s just the truth. It’s learned behavior. You can get faster, you can work harder, but it’s learned behavior. The only way to really do it is you gotta love it. That’s it. It’s real simple. It’s really, that’s the
answer in my opinion, one man’s point of view. – [Voiceover] Chad asks,
“With everything that you do,

and what that means to you, and
how that personal definition affects your relationships. – That’s a very good question. I actually, this one is
actually very easy for me. It’s something that I got to in my mind. Love is very easy for me. Love, to me, is actually
shifting your brain or your feelings into
a place where you value the other person more than yourself. Like, the people that I love, I truly, truly, in general, I’m a
pretty empathetic, like, you know, really care
about the other person’s point of view, and how do I bring value, but that whole 51 49
thing that I talk about from a business standpoint, which, a lot of you know what I’m referring to, but people that are
watching for the first time, or others that don’t know is,
hey, give 51% of the value in the relationship, you’ll always win. When it comes to the people that I love, I’m very comfortable in being at 100 zero. When I make that shift, when
I fell in love with Lizzie, to my kids, my parents, my siblings, Brandon, my best friend
who runs Wine Library, those core couple of people
that I would say I love, I’m very comfortable in providing the entire value in the relationship. That, it’s crazy, the more I love you, and this has actually been something that I’ve struggled with in my life, but it is absolutely how I define love. The more I love you down the chain is the more that I, is the level of which I want less from you. So, like, the people I love the most, I literally don’t want anything from. I wanna provide so much
disproportionate value, I want to never make myself a burden or something they think
they need to deliver on, and I want it to be, I wanna
be the first person they call, and the person that they most rely on, and trust in the world. And as my love goes down, that
goes down to just maybe even. That’s how I define it.

“with working in a family business?” – Nam, very carefully. Family businesses are difficult. I’m in my second one, my dad, my brother. I look forward to my one
with my kids one day. Misha and Xander, if you wanna
be an entrepreneur, call me. Um, you know, I think the real answer is, Nam, the reason I’ve had two
successful family businesses, is very simply, and kudos to my dad, and kudos to my mom, and kudos to just, a lot of fortunate things
that allowed my dad and I, and now my brother and
I, to allow our love to trump our pride, our competitiveness, our business POVs, somehow in our specific situation, probably predicated
with a lot of hard work, specifically from my mom,
more than you would think, and my dad, and then the incredible natural DNA that they gifted me, we have created a situation
where we’ve allowed, at the end of the day,
for us not to lose focus on the fact that we love each other more than we care about getting our way.