#AskGaryVee Episode 130: VaynerMedia Interns Ask Me Questions

Has there ever been a point for you where you’ve kind of been
overwhelmed with options for where you wanted to go,
kind of, in your career, and life and what was
the thought process, and the decision making
process you went through when you ultimately made a decision? – I think it’s happened
more, unlike what I think you’re going with your
question as you’re younger, you may be in school,
there’s a lot of options. You know, to me, I was
set at your age, right? I was, I mean, I barely went to college, I was like, I that badly wanted to go into the family business and do my thing. Where I started having
these things happen really is more of like the last
five to seven year phenomenon where I’m crippled by business options. Do I want to be a venture capitalist, do I want to start companies,
do I want to do more econ, do I want to do TV shows? Like, I’ve had a lot
of options in the last five to seven years, and I think for me, you know, what I like to do
is run on two parallel paths. So, here’s my piece of advice. One, I’m constantly debating them, right? I mean, you just have
to, you’re a human being, you’re thinking about your options. But I’m always doing something. I think the thing that bothers me is that people are
crippled by their options, and then actually aren’t
doing anything in parallel, they’re lollygagging while they decide, and to me, whatever you’re deciding, given that these should
all be loaded questions, whatever is in your option
point, you need to be doing. Right, you need to be executing. So, if there’s three
or four tangible things going on in your mind,
you need to make sure your internships, your
free time, you know, whatever you can do to let you taste them and get context around them
is what really matters. – Sweet. – That’s it, good. – Awesome.
– I thought there was gonna be a follow up. – Oh, in terms of that, I mean, that makes a lot of sense, just… – It’s about execution, right? Like, to me, what I was
doing was I showed up on TV a lot, I did angel investing, I ran VaynerMedia, like, I
was doing all these things. I think people are
confused that you could be doing a lot of things
at once if you’re able to stretch that rubber band. – But how much of it
would you say is like, following your passion
versus kind of like, trying new things, and
experimenting, and seeing… – I would never try anything
that I’m not excited about. Like, to me, when I hear you
say following your passion, literally, what I heard is,
how much is it about oxygen? Like, to me, that’s the only thing. Like, everything I just
mentioned are all things that I want to do. Like, do you know how
many people have asked me to go into politics? – I’d vote for you. – So, but I don’t want to do that. And so, I’ve never pondered that. Right? And so, you know, to me, you know, teaching is interesting. I think I’m a modern teacher,
I like it, I love this, but I don’t wanna do
it, I don’t wanna do it in the way that USC actually wants me to teach a course. The guy that I came, and did that course, where he’s like, look,
we’ll set it all up for you, you can be a professor. And there was a part of me
like, my mom would really get a kick out of that,
but other than that, I’m like, I don’t wanna do that. And so, all of it has to do with passion, but you can have passion about a lot of different things. So, to me, if you’re
contemplating anything that’s practical or money
based, get the hell out. Like, oh, I can go into
finance and make more money. That’s, like, I think
that is a terrible idea.

you meet a co-founder of a start-up. What can I, or, that person do? – Oh, this is a hypothetical question. – To convince you to meet their team. For five minutes. A minute. – Well, you, that, I would be
more than happy to do for you. In general, it’s just a
little bit of serendipity. I get asked all the time,
I get pounded all the time, like, living my life, like,
going to school functions with my wife, or parties, or
just living life right now, I am fully in, I get pitched mode. Right, which is, for me, super flattering. I’m humbled that I’ve hit a status where that’s what people want from me, and so, my money or my time, or
attention, or points of view, all of it is still
humbling and interesting. So, you know, for you, that’s a done deal we’ll schedule that. For everybody else who’s
watching, they’ve all tried. I’ve got, there’s people
who are watching right now who have emailed me 90
times, who have hit me up on social media 90
times, and who will never get that at bat. It’s literally just the
serendipity of it all. There’s other people on their first email, or their first tweet, or
their first, you know, thing, get that at bat. I have so much volume
that I have no real way to truly have a system. My Vayner/RSE has a structure
where you can definitely go through that process and
can eventually get to me, but you gotta go through
the Phils, and the Shauns, and the Kevins, and the
Ryans, and the Chloes. So, you know, that’s
it, that’s the answer. I think one of the really
smart, strategic ways, hypothetically, is to
actually get an internship at VaynerMedia, put… – Slowly. – Put in good work. Finagle your way into
the #AskGaryVee Show, where, on the spot, in
front of the VaynerNation, you can ask the question,
which then compels me to actually do it. That would be something
that I would consider. – That sounds like a very smart person. I think you should meet them. I’m just kidding. – Hit up Matt, let’s do it.

– Hi, VaynerNation, I am
Sid, I’ve been working with Team Gary for the last 10 months. I’m a graduate student at Babson, and my question is a little
bit around you because like, how in depth I’ve seen you working, and, I’ve seen you go all
in when you were like, doing something, but
then we also, as a team, have seen that you step
back and see things in a wider perspective and
then you change direction, come up with creative ideas. So, how do you decide when it’s like, a moment to just step back and reconsider? – That’s an interesting question. You know, it’s funny, you know, I always say to candidates
when I meet with them, meeting with a lot of senior people who are gonna run a
lot of departments here at Vayner in the future, and I say, look, you know me in the outside, and you think that I’m gonna micro manage a ton. What’s weird is I’m very the other way. Like, I actually have a lot of, you know, it’s, you know, I always
wanna ask, you know, I almost completely wanna reverse this to the ask Sid show because I’m curious how you quantify for, to me, this is a very hard answer for me because it’s just innate, right? Like, it’s just to how
I, I don’t even know. Meaning, yeah, I mean, I feel when I have to go deep, I feel like
when I have to go wide, I’m reacting to what feels intuitive to me at the moment, I’m quantifying the people that are involved in the situation. The market, it’s, you know,
it’s kind of like a feeling to understand what to do at that moment. What I think happens is when I taste it, I talk about, I use the analogy of like, blood in the water,
shark mentality, right? When I taste it, then I
wanna go all in, right? Like, then I’m like, let’s go, right? And so, but I don’t know how to quantify what it takes for me to taste it. I feel like it’s a combination
of me and my partner in crime, team, or individual
is now at a crescendo to like, to be able to really attack it, and I can like, really
go in, and there’s like, a cadence between the
two of us that allows us to deliver on it. You know, Sid, I think
that’s a shit answer, and I apologize. There’s some answers that
are just tough to, you know, like, it’s just, how do
you describe the feeling, but I do believe this
is the essence of what, why I always believe that entrepreneurship and being a business man
or woman is a talent. This question is the same
question of like, you know, like, how do you know
when to hit the high note? Like, when do you know it’s game time, and you’ve gotta shoot,
and stop passing the ball? Like, you know, when do you know like, how to like, like, being
a great surgeon, like, where do you like, it’s
just the feel and the rhythm of the game, and as a business
person, I’ve said this, Emily, you might have heard this, like, some of you guys might have heard this, I’ve been saying to a couple
people here and there, that the company feels
more manageable to me. Like, right now, I feel more in control of four offices and 550 people than I did when we were at 200. It’s just, it’s the rhythm of it. And so, that’s why I know it’s a talent. There’s nothing I was taught,
there’s no blue print, it’s just being one with the business. So weird. But it’s what it is, it’s
like, it just, I understand it. And you know what’s funny? I don’t think it’s right or wrong, I think what you’re observing, and I know you’ve been very observant, which is why it was a fun question to hear from you, it’s right for me. You know what I mean? It’s not the right thing
that you need to go and deploy against you, it’s
not right for your start up, it’s what’s right for me, and what’s, the one thing that I do love about myself, and this is just flat out, I don’t let, nobody has any equity from
my parents, to my brother, to my most trusted
employees, nobody has impact, or can wait, make me
waiver, or dents that belief in me, and it, and that thing. An that unwavering has brought me enormous amounts of value. It’s like, just like, just the
strongest thing in my world. Like, me and the business
at hand, you know, in harmony without
allowing any other voice to even have a peep in that direction has been very, very important to me.

and what that means to you, and
how that personal definition affects your relationships. – That’s a very good question. I actually, this one is
actually very easy for me. It’s something that I got to in my mind. Love is very easy for me. Love, to me, is actually
shifting your brain or your feelings into
a place where you value the other person more than yourself. Like, the people that I love, I truly, truly, in general, I’m a
pretty empathetic, like, you know, really care
about the other person’s point of view, and how do I bring value, but that whole 51 49
thing that I talk about from a business standpoint, which, a lot of you know what I’m referring to, but people that are
watching for the first time, or others that don’t know is,
hey, give 51% of the value in the relationship, you’ll always win. When it comes to the people that I love, I’m very comfortable in being at 100 zero. When I make that shift, when
I fell in love with Lizzie, to my kids, my parents, my siblings, Brandon, my best friend
who runs Wine Library, those core couple of people
that I would say I love, I’m very comfortable in providing the entire value in the relationship. That, it’s crazy, the more I love you, and this has actually been something that I’ve struggled with in my life, but it is absolutely how I define love. The more I love you down the chain is the more that I, is the level of which I want less from you. So, like, the people I love the most, I literally don’t want anything from. I wanna provide so much
disproportionate value, I want to never make myself a burden or something they think
they need to deliver on, and I want it to be, I wanna
be the first person they call, and the person that they most rely on, and trust in the world. And as my love goes down, that
goes down to just maybe even. That’s how I define it.

– Yes. – And how you map that. I heard you say recently
that for your 30th birthday, you freaked out and
started Wine Library TV. – I did. – And I thought that was interesting thing to map back, was that the
start of a hockey stick that you kinda went on? I know you talk about turning 40, and how that’s very exciting. – Couple months away. Exciting. A la, I might just disappear. – I’m excited, yeah. How do you see, sort of
like, milestones like that, like, an age or something like that, and sort of like, career,
and comparing yourself to sort of like, where you should be or… – I don’t know if I’ll
ever have anything like 30 because 30 was a real kind
of interesting moment for me because I really, really felt
for the first time in my life, on my 30th birthday, that I
would not buy the New York Jets, or that my, you know, and I think, look, this is a good time to
talk about it if like, if it’s confusing to
anybody, I’d be very okay if I don’t buy the New York Jets. I want to buy the New York Jets, but more importantly, I want the process of buying the New York
Jets, and what hit me was my behavior wasn’t
acting towards a process of buying the New York Jets. That I was starting to become complacent, which was very weird for me,
and it scared me a little bit. Like, I had made it, right? And by everybody else’s definition, and I allowed, in a
world where I very much, we talked about it in Sid’s question, live in my little world, for some reason, you know, obviously I got married at, the day before my 29th birthday, so Lizzie was new in my life, like,
whatever had happened in those two, or three, or
four years from 26 to 30, it was the most complacent
version of myself. I mean, I am a, dramatically,
more of a hustler today than I was at 26, which is
tough because I have children and a marriage, and
I’m like, damn, I mean, this would have been a
much, I’d much rather have worked it out, which
is why I push that objective so much in people’s 20s,
that’s when you don’t go for the cash, that’s
when you sleep on the floor. Right? Like, with 19 people, and like, this room. Like, Jerome Jarre slept at VaynerMedia. Right, like, he hustled,
and now he makes millions of dollars being Jerome
Jarre, freakin’ slept here. Like, I know what it takes, and I, so, anyway, I don’t know why
I’m going left field, birthdays are interesting. You’ve had some big birthdays recently. Birthdays are interesting for me. I’m definitely freaking
out about my 40th birthday. Like, because what’s happening
in my brain right now is like, 40 to 50 is the
foundational decade of like, you know, like, if I don’t
really crush that decade, and there’s a part of
me that laughs at me, because then I’m like, hm. Then I’m gonna come to 50
and be like, all right, 50 or 60 is, like, this is
where you really go to moguls. Like, I know my, I’m
self aware enough to know that’s how I’m driven. I have this equal push
to like massive ambition and equal understanding
of myself knowing that the goals that, you know, it’s funny, I can’t wait to be a
public figure in my 60s, 70s, and 80s, and talk about,
there’s a weird part of me, and it’s an emerging weird part that says, wow, I can make a bigger
impact on the world if I don’t buy the Jets
because I could talk about, you know, the satisfaction
that I have in that I gave it my all, and I, you
know, there’s serendipity, and there’s other variables,
or that, you know, this, you know, I’m a weird
dude, this tragic event happened, and I adjusted my
priorities for, this incredible thing happened, let’s look
at the bright side, and I, you know, my son was a whiz
kid violinist, and I decided to deploy against that. You know, so, I think that
the way I think about it is for me, birthdays are weird, I, definitely milestone birthdays. 30 and, 40 is ripping me right now, and like, 30 did, and so 50 will, and so, and I don’t know if I’m
forcing that narrative or not, but they’re real, but I think
that they definitely make me think about things and readjust, like, I’m sure that, it’s a
cliche thing that I’m sure happens to everybody, but
I didn’t have them at 18, or 21, or 25, it started at 30 for me. And probably speaks to
what I’m ambitious about. I wasn’t as much worried
about my childhood, or things that of that nature. My career has been the beacon of my life outside of my family, and that’s what, I don’t associate myself
with, you know, like, being a party dude, or
like, getting the most out of my 20s, it was
more career oriented. And so, I think it’s
different for everybody. And I think, you know, it also speaks to, you know, these big birthdays are also a tremendously important time to reflect around family and health. Obviously, I took care of my health, and in spending a
disproportionate amount of time on my family hacking, as happy as I am with the extremism of
weekends and vacation time, I’m starting to bubble
up some other thoughts. And so, I think, you know, I
think it’s fun being a human, like, it’s fun to hang
out with the interns here who are like, starting to
go to that next chapter where like, the game they’ve
played their entire lives of school infrastructure’s gonna go away, and they go into a different game. And that’s interesting to watch, and that’s interesting that my parents are interesting to watch to me. You know, there was
something I read that said, you know, when you save
money your whole life, you don’t know how to spend it. So, I’m watching my
parents struggle to relax and enjoy this next
chapter of their lives. And so, like, I’m very
observant as a business person around psychology, but
also as like, a human, I’m interested in how people roll, and I think the best thing
I can say is, you know, go with what feels right. Attach yourself to a couple
principles that matter the most, and let the cards play out as they will.