– Hey Gary, Matt LaMarsh
here in Atlanta, Georgia. I hope you’re doin’ well. Had a quick question
about self-awareness. Do you think it’s more
about maturity and wisdom or is it something that
you’re just built with? Thanks so much
for takin’ the time. Have a great day. – That’s a good question. – So I’ve been talking a
lot about self-awareness. I’d love for you
to take the floor first. Maybe you haven’t had as much time to
ponder this world. What’s your take
on self-awareness? Do you feel like you have it? Do you feel like it grew? For example, I believe
it is the ultimate power. Once you have that, boy
can you start navigating. I’m struggling ’cause
so many people have really caught
attention to this and are asking me
to help them figure out how to gain more of
it and I’m like Jesus. There are certain places
where your skill set stops. Mine stops at how am
I gonna, I don’t know. Boy do I know the people
that I know that have it are winning and not
just financially or (mumbles). They’re just in a happy place because of that self-awareness. What is your thought
on self-awareness? – Yeah, I think it’s a
skill like any other. – So you do think it’s
something that can be it’s own. – Sure, I mean people
might have natural capacity for it from how they were raised like any other skill. – In the world? – Some people are
good at basketball and some people
have to work very hard to be good at basketball. – Do you think
one caps out though? In a basketball analogy,
Dunk is a nice looking athlete but he’s never going
to be an NBA player. He has a ceiling of
his basketball skills, do you think people
have a ceiling to their self-awareness? – I don’t know if
people have a ceiling, but I think
self-awareness is a skill, a practicable, learnable skill and I think one
of the big things about self-awareness
is we don’t really know how we’re being perceived. We think we know
how we’re being perceived and sometimes we act in a way, when we act all pompous
because we want to appear stronger, we really appear weak. – That’s right. Which is a common
one by the way. – Yeah right and so
I think the big thing about learning to be
self aware is being open to the feedback from
people who love you and care about you who
are wiling to say to you “When you said that,
you looked and sounded “like an ass.” – Yeah, it’s funny– – And to be open
to that kind of harsh but from a good place
critique is the only way to learn how you come across. – It’s funny you said that. I think the closest
I’ve ever gotten to answer this is that
and then, actually putting that inner circle
in a safe place to tell you the truth. – Exactly right. – Because those
same people are scared, they love you. – And if you’re defensive
the whole time– – Game over. – Then you are not
learning self-awareness. – I would tell you that
my reading of comments over the last decade on social, and taking each
with a grain of salt. Your biggest fans,
you can only let your ego go so far and you’re aware
that some people troll for the sake
of getting reactions from the community and
things of that nature but the net, the millions
in a net composite score has definitely been,
I would always say that listening has
done a lot more for me even though I love to
talk and always talk. That consumption
pattern has been a very big deal for me. – So there’s
a wonderful story– – Please.
– about listening. – Okay. – The problem when
people say you need to be a better listener is
we’re human beings and we need to communicate
and communication is two ways,
listening and speaking. So but everybody’s
like “You’ve got to be “a better listener” but
here’s the best understanding I have of that. So Nelson Mandela
is universally regarded as a great leader
which is important because different people
are viewed differently in different nations
but Nelson Mandela universally regarded as
a great leader, right? He was actually
the son of a tribal chief and he was asked
in an interview once “How did you learn
to be a great leader?” And he tells the story
of how he would go to tribal meetings
with his father and he remembers two
things; they always sat in a circle and
his father was always the last to speak. And in terms of
leadership and listening, I think the idea
of be a better listener is actually half the advice. I think the advice is practice being the last to speak. You see this all
the time in meetings where everybody
will sit around a room, the senior guy will be like “Alright here’s the
problem, here’s what I think “we should do
but I’m really interested “in what your thoughts are,”
– Yes. – “Let’s go around the
room” but it’s too late. You’ve influenced them. – You’ve created the footprint. – And people bend and
mold as opposed to saying “Here’s the problem,
I’m interested “in what you have to say”
without saying anything and not even, and having
the, and here’s the, this takes practice. Not even getting a
hint whether you agree or disagree, if anything
you ask questions to learn more,
you get the benefit of hearing everybody’s opinion, everybody gets to feel heard and then you get
to render your opinion. – So I would tell you,
and this is for people that are running businesses, that is a micro
example of the way, and I think
makes a ton of sense. I would tell you
Andy, you obviously direct report to me,
you run our team, I think people would be stunned by how little you talk at all. Like the level of,
right, like the level of micro management I put on, like my version
of that is actually letting people do their thing and watching it from,
speaking last. I guess my punchline
is by the time I get into the meeting
where we’re like “Here’s the problem”,
the amount of listening that has been done
because I’ve created such a white canvas
for the leaders to do their thing and
I can watch it and contextualize
what they’re doing, is the macro version
because once you’re in that meeting room,
that’s basically the final pitch of
what’s been going on over that period of time. – Okay. – Yeah, that’s interesting,
it’s interesting. I believe in that quite a bit.
Okay, good. I mean I think, I on
the other hand do think that all skills have a max out. At some level,
your hard wiring limits– – So you can’t continue to grow ’til the day you die? – No, I think that’s the
black and white version of that. I think that
you can continue to make incremental steps
but I think that there are people– – Oh, so there’s
a diminishing return. That’s interesting.
– I believe that because I believe some
people are just delirious in this chase that
they’re gonna be at this upside of any skill– – That’s interesting. – and people lose
practicality at some level. – And the question is
is where is everybody? You know, if here is the max out where the diminishing returns. – That’s right. – The question is is… – Do you stop here? – Does anybody even get here? – And which is why
I’m always very careful to not play too
much to the negative because I don’t want
somebody to stop here but in the same token,
in a world where there’s a lot of
voices and everybody can do everything,
we need to level some level of practicality.
– Oh that’s good, I like that. Yeah, that’s interesting.
– Oh thank you.