(lively guitar music) – Hey GaryVee, hey Wyclef,
how are you guys doing? Thank you very much
for taking my question. My name is Brian Ripps. I’m a musician and
entertainer from New York City. For the last 10 years I’ve been
making my living writing songs and traveling the country
playing for the people. One of the biggest lessons I’ve
learned is how to take no for an answer and press on. I’m curious to hear from both
of you what some of the biggest no’s that you been encountereed
in your career are and how you overcame them and
moved on to conquer them? – Great question.
– Oh that’s good. – It’s very nice.
That was well done. – Great guitar player, too. – You know how happy
that guy is right now? – [India] So happy.
(laughter) – You killing that guitar.
He’s in New York? – [India] I’m not sure.
– Yeah, I think he said. Yeah. – Yo, do me a favor
right now man– – This is big. – hit me at okay we’re
gonna do, let’s make this big. (laughter) – Now you gotta deal with this. They have to deal with
this with me all the time. I love it. Do it, do it big. – Let’s do this.
– Go ahead. – When you come see me–
– In Jersey. – We come chill, don’t worry
I’mma have grass and everything. – No worries.
– You bring the wine. – I’m bringing the wine. – So listen, why don’t
we bring the homey in? – Done.
– Let’s bring him in. Let’s when Brian in and we
could do a little jam session. Okay, that’d be cool.
So this is what I’m thinking– – Dreams are made on
The #AskGaryVee Show. – To his question I would say the no factor is a
motivation factor. And the thing about it it’s
goes back to what you said. Every day you constantly
have to prove yourself. – [Gary] Only as good
as your last at-bat. – You’re proving
yourself to yourself. Always remember that because
the day that you wake up and you say, “Man, I’m
already good on piano. “I’m already good on guitar. “I done wrote 50 songs. “I don’t need
to write anymore.” That’s the day you’re finished.
– [Gary] Finished. – Because the thing that keeps us as human beings going is creativity. The day that we lose that we
completely lose ourselves. So to your point is it’s just
about each one, teach one and constantly being inspired and
whenever somebody told me no it was always a motivation for yes. – I couldn’t agree more. Again, so many of
you watch my content. Only as good as
your last at-bat. Chip on the shoulder. I would say that I’m wired, I’m
curious, I’m surprised how much I do want, I like
sticking it to the market. I’m very competitive. Do you find
yourself competitive? – You have to be.
Naturally. – To me I’ve talked a lot
about loving to lose. I do. For some reason, Staphon,
you know this when we play basketball in the morning,
when I lose I’m like weird. I like it. There’s a feeling
that I want. It motivates me so much. I truly believe that the thing
that separates so many people is people are scared of
the no and the loss. They think it’s a scarlet letter and what that does
it makes them not go. I love the way
that he said, “When I get no’s I
push through.” For me, my early childhood to
answer you directly because two guys that like to philosophize. I’ll go right into it, my
early childhood was probably my biggest adversity. I didn’t have the same adversity
of being a minority or gender or things of that nature. I didn’t have a whole lot of
money but the big thing that I had I was getting Ds and Fs. So I was making $3,000 a weekend
selling baseball cards in the malls of New Jersey but I was
getting D’s and F’s is a 13, 14-year-old and
everybody thought I was a loser. My teachers, my friends’
parents because that’s when school was the game.
– Mhmmm. – And so for me the market, the
world was telling me I wasn’t good and everything inside of me
told me I was going to be good. I don’t think you can be when
unless you love yourself first. I think you’re right about it
being a one-on-one game inside your own dome. So for me my adversity was
early on because once I hit the market, once my entrepreneurial
flair came out my first year running my dad’s
business I grew substantially. It was over before it started. Adversity, I think the thing
that is most interesting to me if this company doesn’t do
well next year, if my next five investments don’t do well,
if my next prediction is that Blah-Blah-Blah’s going to be
huge and it isn’t when then I’m not as good anymore. I’m fascinated by
the music industry. Three, four good albums
in a row, iconic stuff, one bad album.
It’s amazing. You’re just as good
as your last at-bat. – That’s right.
Think about it. In our business
we say 10 million is a championship ring, right?
– [Gary] Okay. – So to be able to
sell 10 million a few times and to do it for different people, right?
– [Gary] Yes. – Not yourself.
– [Gary] Yes. – Because this is another thing. Okay, cool, you can
make money but can you make
other people money? Because the key is if you can
make other people money, you create social entrepreneurship.
– [Gary] That’s right. Scale. – That’s right. So for me that’s
definitely part of, so for me and my business I remember I did the, when we
did “The Score” I got scared after we sold 10 million.
– It’s crazy, right? – ‘Cause I said, no
disrespect to Menudo. But I’m not dissing you. I love Menudo and
New Kids on the Block. I love them
’cause they watching. I love them. But I was like, “Holy shit,
we’re a pop group now.” – Yep. – I disappeared man. Got an apartment on
66th street and third and I was in a small room. And I was like, “I have this
thing called ‘The Carnival,'” and I was like, “I have
to do this thing.” – Now.
– And I was like, “It’s artsy, it’s artsy.
I have to do this thing,” and from there that landed me Destiny Child,
Beyoncé and them. Right? Somebody was like,
“Yo, we love ‘The Carnival’. “There’s these four girls in the
hotel room and we need you to “just go see them.” And then I went to this hotel. – Let me ask you a
question about the hotel room? Was that a moment where you just
understand immediately, did you under immediately understand
Beyoncé had real big-time talent or did that develop? Just for you one-man,
I’m just curious. Storytime. – I think for me I have a knack. Like Lauren as a kid 14, 15. – She’s from Maplewood? – Yeah,
Maplewood, New Jersey. – Right there.
– Columbia. Right. So I get this gift
from the church though. It’s purely and the church
called me the choir director. I can find a singer
in two minutes. I’m like, “Well, this is the
singer that’s gonna sing lead.” So definitely when I first
saw Beyoncé I was like wow. Right?
– Mhmmm. – What do I remember
about Beyoncé the most? I’ll tell you. And she’s watching, she know. – Thanks for watching, B. – Yeah. Every, every and
this is taking me back, right? Destiny’s Child was
opening up for me. – Is that right?
– Right? Watch this. But every time Destiny’s Child
got off the stage and I went on Beyoncé was
always on the side– – Watching.
– studying the show. People be like, “Man why
is she so invincible?” She’s so invincible because she’s a student of the game. – She put in the work.
– Right? This is another thing
when we talk about, right? So for me when I show up
it’s not about what I’m doing. I want to know
what you doing. Right? – It’s actually, what I do
for living is actually only predicated on watching what
other people are doing to figure out what they’re
going to do next. You know, I’m going to stick
here and be selfish for a second because it’s the
thing I like the most. Just binary, who, one man’s
opinion, you’re just one man– – Yeah. – Who was the most talented
person you came across and who was the hardest working
person you’ve come across? Right now, so far, in your
journeys, in your industry, in your industry.
– So far, right? – Yeah, just so far.
I’m just real curious. And I know like I’m sure is not
what you think about everyday and it might not come that easy. As you debate it for me– – For me it’s a
set up question– – Okay. – Because I know Carlos
Santana watching this right now. – Of course.
Carlos, thank you. (laughter) – We have a lot of
people to tweet. – You’re setting
me up right now. But I could, you know,
it’s just like Santana’s like,
“You better say me.” (laughter) You put me on the spot. – I know I’m putting
you on the spot. – It’s cool, it’s cool.
But it’s a good spot. – But I’m curious.
You don’t have to answer but I’m really curious and I actually I really want to know
hard work, I want the hard work one to be honest with you. – Everyone’s gonna
respect this answer. – Okay. Go ahead. – For me, the hardest working person that I’ve came across in my entire life so far will have to be
Michael Jackson. – Hmmm. – Because and this is
why tell you, right? So when you’re hard working
your like moving at the speed of light but somehow you’re aware
of everything going on with the culture and everything. You know everything
at real-time. ‘Cause you Michael, man. You’re like in Asia somewhere
so why are you calling me. And then you’re like, “Yo,
I was just watching this TV.” He’s like, “Who’s this guy?
Gone to November.” I think I am being pranked
and I hang up the phone. The first time.
Michael calls back. I’m like, “Holy shit, this
fucking Michael Jackson.” This guy is scheduled literally
shows every, every day somehow finds time to
land at Sony studio, come up the elevator, come see me sit down and
that whole day changed my life. Ever since that I just see
music totally different on the perception because I’m like,
“Yo, this Michael Jackson and he’s sitting there normally,”
and he’s giving me the rhythms. While he’s sitting there and I
know the dude is coming from, the flight has to be super long. And he’s in there and he’s like, “No, this is how I’m
hearing the bass. “This is how I’m
hearing the drums.” I’m hearing his whole body. And I’m like, “Yo.
That’s freaking Michael.” (laughter) – Dude when I’m telling you
I’m tripping, I’m tripping. So for me, I would say the
coolest, the coolest thing about Michael, man so then we in the
room with two of us and he’s like, “Man, you know your style reminds me
of when we were younger they took us to Jamaica there
was a guy he used to smoke a lot of weed.” (laughter) “Bob Marley?”
He was like, “No, no, no.” I said “Oh, Peter Tosh,”
and he’s like, “Yeah.” (laughter) – That’s unbelievable. – So for me that to me– – Was huge.
– It was huge. And then I was amazed by the
short time that I spent with Whitney Houston.
– Yes. – She was insanely incredible.
Jersey. – Yep.
– Jersey crew. And, man, Whitney’s
work ethics was crazy. I guess I was lucky because when
Clive Davis calls you and he’s like, “Yo, man, I need a
song for Whitney Houston.” – Yeah. – You start trembling, right? And then Whitney shows up. I’m like I know Whitney. I know your schedule and
what you’re going through. Show up on 24/7. – Ready to work?
– Insane. Like it’s the first record
they’re being recorded. And then you pinching
yourself you like, “No, no. That’s really Whitney.
‘The Bodyguard’,” and then she showing
up as if this is the first record she’s
about to record. – Because money and success
doesn’t change you, it exposes you.
– Facts. – It’s just so real. India?
– Bars. – [India] The last question was,
“Who do you think the greatest

“no to good things so you
can say yes to great things?” – You know Kyle, you’re talking about decision making and time management and opportunity costs is
a tremendous question. Who gets to decide what is good or great? Is first and foremost. What may be good to me may not be great to you. For me if I can meet Ric Flair for dinner that would be great, for India, are you excited about having
dinner with Ric Flair? – Yeah, totally. – Do you know who Ric Flair is?
– No. – Exactly. Now name one
of your favorite bands. – I don’t know. You know who
I really had dinner with? Jeff Bridges. – I don’t know who that is, the actor?
– Yeah. – I know who that is. Give me a band that you love right now. – A band that I love right now? – Follow me here. – This is really scary. – Just say it, stop being scared. Some random. – Grimes. Grimes. – Good, I don’t know
anything about Grimes. I never heard of Grimes. And you’d be like, Hey the lead singer of
Grimes, it’s a singer? E-mailed right now and said,
“I want to have dinner” I’d be like, delete, like
I don’t even know, right? And so who gets to decide
what is good and great and that’s why I’m answering this question with that little skit. Which is you don’t know until you do it. And so, Kyle. Kyle, too many people
crippled by this question. And I’m going to get
serious now for a second. You won’t know if something is good or great until
it actually happens. Some of the greatest things that ever happened to me in business
look terrible on paper. Wasn’t somebody fancy,
wasn’t fancy, you know? It just was kind of like, oh wait, and then that person knew
and then I connected them. Meeting Blaine Cook, the original CTO of Twitter for a taco
at South by Southwest on the dawn of South
by Southwest this week. That didn’t look like one of the greatest meetings of my life, but it turned into one of the greatest meetings of my life. This happens all the time. Too many people are crippled by the right hire, by the right meeting. I say work harder, work more efficient, make more 15 and 30 minute meetings that leave you more
time to do more things. And create more opportunities and don’t be crippled by choosing the right opportunities or not. So the answer is, nobody
can answer that for you. Normally you can’t answer it upfront. I did a bunch of podcasts that I never heard of the people before. And I think some of them
have been paying dividends. And I did a podcast
with Shaq that is going to air shortly. On paper it looks like Shaq is a greater thing than good. But I think we’re going
to sell more books, from some of that good because I didn’t realize the
audience that person had. Be more efficient with what you do to allow you to do more things. Then you don’t have to worry about the subjective and non controllable like knowing what’s good or great. That’s the recap.

which conditions is advisable I think
it’s advisable under several conditions condition number one where you want when
he started a blog really it was eighty-nine as an email newsletter yep
so do the math a long time ago then I met Joey dough
and switch to TypePad you know what some blogging before that but I can’t find a
where it is and then after I met you ito I’ve been doing it as relentless as I
could there was a period was five bucks a day and then I realized it wasn’t
helping me where the reader so now it’s been one today for a really long time so
the if you want to develop to get to the deputy the best at something you gonna
have to say no to a lot of things you know it’s super important super
important and so on Twitter came along I thought I could be pretty good at this
cause I’m early but I would have to use my blogging time to be pretty good at
this so better well I spend 10 hours a day thinking
about the next blog post a bunch but you don’t see most of them when he just like
kill him know stick around you might like when you’re spending 10 hours a day
in four weeks we spent hours in a ship and recall that’s why I think every
image double block even if you don’t put your name everyday write something that you
willing to put in the world so that a week from now on a month no new year
from now you can look back at it I said this I predicted his little as a
youngster you like writing and I like talking
about ideas I like helping change happen there was a time in the middle of the 18
books when the thought of sitting down and going to the practice of writing a
book really engaged me but I’d rather look someone in the eye and talk to them
then what about public speaking we’ve got to do a couple of months I hate
flying there love being a major on and then you’re off their rules can’t bring on you know chimpanzee
marching band you can you let you slide rules go beyond that can throw things
into the audience and stuff but that’s too many variables so back to India’s
question yes let me go see president in his book The War of our talks about the
resistance in Lebanon yeah I do ya like how many books do you read well I get
two or three a day in the mail and I read them until I get the joke and then
I stopped at 2000 she says but sometimes you don’t need to be there may be asked
for it gives you don’t mention that sounds a little pre ordered that book
will probably take me more than 15 minutes to get the joke it’s just rich
and layered in a lifetime ago insight you don’t say yeah but there are
other books like if the other did a good job in five pages you get the point you
trust that the rest of it is proven and now you can go on to the next thing I’m
not going to last for you fictionwise there was a book of whiskey
Tango Foxtrot hysterical brilliant funny science fiction and it’s about you
you’re in it you don’t like the devil character yeah he’s a handsome yes yeah but the best thing to say but that’s all
i care parts of that I’m in any way and then there there’s a really great book
about novel about Marcel Duchamp’s work called the bride was stripped bare by
her bachelor’s even yeah that’s really juicy book is fired up to go and then
but non-fiction wise I’m just constantly amazed at how generous authors artists
authors no you can’t make a living writing books but they do it anyway question I’m real money out of town on
Sunday as it shot shot at the way to the punch line is this piece than 20 years opposite course did you say you can be a
meaningful specifically said when your have ever walked out of the show yes cause I could go second I have
something important to adhere go ahead I just you know what I’m just glad he was
my friend generality and the problem with most social media is your not the
customer you were the product it was optimized to make you anxious and to use
it to get with optimized to extract from you nervous energy not productive output
so most people fall into it are checking one less time checking this posting that
liking this why to keep them from doing important work which I was watching
television but here’s where we disagree a little bit I mean like like they’ll
stick here for a second India who thought that all of a sudden MySpace and
Friendster Facebook and Twitter came along and took us away from all this
mass important or so let’s start with Clay Shirky Clay Shirky pointed out up that Wikipedia got built a decrease
in television viewing billion hours invested in building Wikipedia came from
GV it could have come from reading know he can show that it is great book came
from TV you put it shipping everybody’s who talked about this with me but you
can’t deny this scholars work without examining it is a wait yeah i know i
think thats fair and I think you’re right about that I do believe an
enormous amount of internet behavior at the at the television so what my point
is television’s dying because we’re giving people more choices channels are breaking down its rhetoric
masses going away what do we want people to do with the time they’re not spending
watching Happy Days just watching TV which is stunning to me but my argument
is that people who are watching you and I talk by Bryce and John at then end the
cycle already knows I’m about to say they have the ability to make a dent in
the univers hundred-percent we gave them a platform they can use to 200% and they
think that they’re advancing their cause by using various social media networks
the way that they are optimized to be used in my argument is there not that
I’m super glad that the musicians of the sixties that went way out on an edge
worried seduced by just sitting there listening to people’s records all day
they decided to make pitches before they decided to make so train coming or
whatever it is they went outside thing to say this is my work and the problem I
have with the people who are just saying me too plus plus they think they’re
doing their job they’re not doing their job they’re hiding from their job their
job is to create a body of work that are into trust you know that that’s
interesting but let’s let’s let’s go a little bit deeper sort of like this don’t you believe when
you’re saying plus + and this other thing don’t you believe that that is
exactly mapping the people that didn’t just like not everybody is going to make
great bodies of work a true ok go ahead you think they’re born that way know the people everyone who makes great
work was born naked unable to read and proven in their diapers right somewhere
along the way you make a decision you make an investment you go forward and if
we look we see that it used to be that John Hammond would pick you and you
would become a famous recording artists yes I saw the pictures are gone and so
now the building number of people who are picking themselves going up what im
saying my only point in this case is this if you find it at the end of the
day you could say I did a really good job and my social media universe is
clean and taking care of and that’s all you have to point to today I don’t think
that’s a good day and what i’m saying is that we pimps Magee who has that 2.2 in
1974 had that same thing to point him better she had the chance to do better
so what you’re saying is that everybody can go to Yankee Stadium today hit the
bat on people and take a swing which is different than giving up just yet just
let it can’t ever heard that from a political numbers are different the
intellectual endeavors for sure so when you’re saying is everybody has the same
capacity to learn you know what i’m saying is what we define as athletic
endeavors he is one axis but I could say for example if your caregiver for senior
citizens are struggling with alzheimers yes you were capable of looking at
person in the odds with empathy and infection in a way that changes that
tell me how you develop empathy tell me well you change the topic with you
because you just said I can teach me how to be a caregiver that’s gonna any
conduct we meet on los Mande and the and the you can teach the teacher I can
teach Andy yes to do I can’t ever teach him to hit a home run ok I can teach introduced something with
his voice as hard as you can teach them at home running at the same but you can
teach him to be the best version of a baseball player that he can be in the
same way that you can well that’s a whole different conversation that’s
coming up trying to have no not true not true because what’s what’s most
interesting to me is there is no economic situation that Sally pence
McGee could be focusing more time on something else besides liking buttons on
that ok do you agree with me that silly pants McGee would probably likely in
1984 to be sitting and watching well that’s what I’m say right now I’m saying
nothing changed the places that people are deploying their energy my family
liking something Instagram Facebook is a way to hide from
the productive thing she could be exposing yourself to productive thing is
scary you think you think she’s she’s gotten
to a place where that makes her feel better and that we’ve tricked people and
people drink themselves to be a part of something versus when they sat on the
couch know when they sat on the couch the entire culture was in on it and it’s
similar what i’m saying is we didn’t build the internet so that YouTube
videos we built the internet isn’t on capitol videos escapism for somebody just like a
reading a good book escapism for you seriously I’m asking I know people
around the world have something they really need to escape from the people
who are watching this much less fine I would argue and agree with you that
people have much bigger headaches then but the reality is that somebody’s
watching this has their micro version of what they think they’re skipping from I
sit here everyday and yell and say look if you’re white male in america Jesus
Christ you want about winning the lottery you want so I’m with you on that what what I’m fascinated entertaining
there’s nothing wrong people think cats just just acknowledge
you’re entertaining yourself you’re not doing your job that’s the only thing I’m
trying to put the question to India was what I’m doing my from India was when
I’m doing my job why are they using the other forms of
social media the answer is a quote you find what you want job but Neil Gaiman
has said is the way he deals with writers block has written a book in need
to do is he makes himself super bored he eliminates all input and so into you so
bored the only way to entertain himself is to right are you saying that one of
the big KPI’s for you just think the blog was not getting all that stimulus
in allowing you to create more forcing me to say either I did nothing today or
make something worthwhile that there are days when I will answer nothing but
email and I feel horrible at the end of the day cuz I don’t believe that the
product meets let me tell you what the most interesting part of this last 45
minutes was for me self-awareness for himself and I think
that to me is the most interesting part of what just happened like to me that
speaks to really understand yourself and positioning yourself in the best
position to succeed based on the successful contributors / artist I know
are similar so for me I need chaos like I just walked here I just walked into my
office lol laugh it was so quiet I started yelling at everybody I can’t get
into my place without all the employees are aware this is key it is but if we
look at most of the people who are showing up in my box and you’re about to
say what I do know what I do they’re copying pattern yes social media without
being aware of the tribes well I’m the question without being aware that
those patterns are sabotaging their mother pushing for you when a winner
when is it right when it arrived in that first try nothing see what happened if
you were forced to eat level up not by getting in but to level up by standing
out by saying something important 25 just sitting at home thinking it’s one of the funniest things about how I
go about things is I don’t want to read anybody else’s things I don’t consume
anything else because it puts me in that it’s really not even like I’m crazy that
way but I don’t want to consume anything cuz I just like observing people in
whatever format the real world digital world to be able to just do my thing cuz
that’s what makes me comfortable in analyzing it so it’s a little bit of
like it’s interesting so the way to the way we built the author MBA which is
cool I guess is it’s 28 days and there’s an enormous amount to do yes with your
name on it in public and commenting substantially with your name on it on
other people’s work like a repeat cycle repeats 1314 assignments before we do
some people struggled with that system everyone does that’s what it’s for you
if you if I sent you to Ranger School you’re going to struggle if I send you
to tightrope circus school you’re going to struggle that learning is hard that’s
why the dropout rate on online courses at 98% yes and the reason is because as
soon as it gets hard and it has to have you learned something you quit when
people are mad at watching my content because I talk about hard work and they
don’t want to hear that they want to see what the secret Asst you know what’s funny about that India
thank you brother because that’s what it is referring to I need to be accountable
to somebody I think about what triggered that game I needed to be accountable
somebody else besides myself India last one John asked what does
something we both disagree on i mean i

– [Voiceover] Meet asks, “Hi, Gary, “it seems like everyone speaks about “not giving up no matter what, “but how do you know when
it’s time to let it go?” – So, I’m, this is
something I struggle with, like, having a loss on
your resume is so scary, and the business ventures that I’ve had in the past where I
wasn’t actively running and I’ve talked about Cork’d or Forrst. Lindsay and Kyle, amazing entrepreneurs that I don’t feel that I supported enough and thus those two, Obsessed
TV with Samantha Ettus, where I try to produce a video show, that didn’t start me. I never was able to give it enough energy, and the thing I spent
the most time with is when do I let it go? Because there’s a point where you realize, by the way, I realize this with employees, you know, I know a lot
of VaynerMedia employees watch this, but I’m gonna tell the truth. There’s 5 to 6 employees that I think it might be time to not
work together anymore, and do I struggle with that? Boy, do I struggle with that. One, mainly because I don’t
like letting other people down more than anything. The truth is, Meet, I think
this is a very personal answer. I think it depends on every individual, but what I will say is, way
too many people watching this right now are holding onto
hope, or a non-reality, or don’t wanna make somebody feel bad, or dont wanna have the
reputation of having a loss on their record, and I
think that’s a huge mistake, and it’s probably the mistake
I’m most vulnerable to, and as I think about my next 40 years of executing, and you’re right, I am hustling more than ever, I’m feeling more fit and energized and feel like I’m gonna really
go into my golden years, especially the next 20
years, that’s just the truth, though I’m sure when I’m 60 I’m like, this is when I’m really gonna do it. I do think that that, this
is a tremendous question, I’m so goddamn pumped that this happened on my 40th, post-40th
birthday episode, first one. This is the one thing that
I’m spending a lot of time on. I think it’s hard, but it is, I think more people have
to let go more often. And the two things that I’m working on are both ends of that:
saying no more often, because boy that’s hard for me, and then letting go more
often, and really zoning in on that middle is my answer to that. So the punchline is, very personal, but, because I wanna bring value
to everybody listening, what’s up, podcasters, and watching, I really think that a lot of
you need to take this question, use it as a moment, use it as permission, let me be your olive branch, link to this part of
the show as the excuse or the frame that let you do it, there’s a lot of people
that need to let go. – And if I could have one thing, that would be, this book is probably the
first time where I felt like I was gonna fail in a while. – Interesting, because you, because you had to do the work? It wasn’t like what naturally was in you. – Right, it was, what was naturally in me was just write another book, you know, and I thought that I would
be letting everyone down by doing that, and in three
and a half years in the making, right, there were, I mean,
even up until six weeks before it was done, I thought
it was not gonna happen. – Meaning what? – Just, so many things
were going wrong, you know, in terms of production
and printing processes and finding the right shapes
and everything about it. Also, re-learning how to write sentences. Like, I was beaten. And there was a saying
that a friend of mine, Adele Ressie, had told me that, an entrepreneurship,
it’s always the darkest before the dawn. And I thought that, yo, maybe that is it, maybe this was just a test
to go a little bit further and see it through, but at the same time, it was the right thing to do, but at the same time, there are moments when you have to walk away, and just try to learn from them, because that’s all anybody wants from you is to show that you tried
and that you learned from something and that you did it better or did it differently the next time. – Appreciate it, my friend. As the guest of today’s show,

– Hey, Gary, what’s going
on, Sean Mitchell here. I’ve got a sales question for you. In the last couple of weeks,
I’ve lost two really big deals that I was anticipating closing. On the first call, I felt
like I did a really solid job, at uncovering their
challenges, in matching up our products, solutions
to those challenges, but on the second call, they
ended up not moving forward and it was a huge surprise to me, so– – Huge surprise– – What is your advice to try
and minimize the surprise – [Voicoever] Baba, ba–
– No. Thanks so much. – Great question. Don’t steal my headphones, India. Come off of six month vacation, stealing my headphones. First of all, and I think AJ
is better at this than me, I always think we’re gonna
win the sale, because I’m so good at being a salesman. But one of the great
ways to not be surprised on losing a sale is to
never think you’ve got it. I think that’s actually
a stunningly interesting aspect of it. So I think, not buying
into your own bullshit or hype is important. I also am a big fan of back-channeling. I do think that you
could’ve been e-mailing and contacting the clients. Some clients are turned off by that. Others can really give
you some information, depends on your relationship
with that client. But really the truth is it’s very tough to mitigate this. I mean, that’s the game, right? That’s the high of sales. You go in for the kill, and you don’t know
necessarily if you’ve made it happen or not, and so I think teetering expectations, trying to communicate
back-channel during the time. Sometimes the squeakiest
wheel gets the oil. Sometimes the squeakiest wheel gets taken off and replaced by a wheel. It’s just a way you’ve got to
figure out your own cadence. Your own touch. I’m a big fan of, I always say I like things sold
before I start selling them. So, if you’re going in for pitches a lot of times, I like
having relationships, putting out content, before those things. I think that’s really an important variable in sales, which is fundamentally selling before you’re actually
going in for the sale. I do believe an answer
on the #AskGaryVee Show will lead to a business
opportunity in the future. That’s selling before selling. And so that’s it, I mean you can do what you can do before the fact, but once you’re in the game you can back-channel a little bit, you can teeter your expectations, but you’ve got to let the results play out the way they will. That’s a good show.

“on your goals, and separate yourself from “the demands of the external world?” – Andrzej, I’ll take this one first. You know, I don’t know what to tell you other than it’s unbelievable for me how much the external
world has not factored into my decision making,
I’ve talked about, if you’ve been watching
this show long enough that first F on a test in fourth grade and literally making that transition to I’m gonna fight the market, and I’ve been fighting
the market my whole life. I think for me, it was
the level of self esteem that my mom instilled
in me, plus some level of my own DNA, I think
that’s the friction at hand. Heck, a lot of the themes of
our last question were on this, right, like what does the
market want you to do, whether that’s your parents or society, versus what you want to do. For me, it has a lot to do
with intestinal fortitude. A Gorilla Monsoon WWF reference. You know, I think it’s
surrounding yourself with people that give you permission
to take that risk. That to me is the most practical version of what I’m giving you, other than you’ve got to be born with it. It’s finding those like minded people who are taking those similar risks, and give you, through their own actions, a little more umph, or
if you’re amazingly lucky to have that parental, or
mentor infrastructure above you that created that context. Case. – I think focus is everything. I think that you can do 10 things poorly, or one thing well, and saying, “No,” is something that I only
learned late in my career. – I still suck at it. I still suck at it right now. – Saying, “No,” is so
hard, but the truth is like we’re surrounded by leeches, blood suckers, and vampires,
and those are people that want to take, take, take,
and they don’t give back, and learning to say,
“No,” to those people, learning to say, “No,”
to all those distractions is the only way to get anywhere. Cause time is finite, life is short. Quickly you find things in life
that are really incredible, like family, things that you love, things that you’re passionate about that might distract you in a positive way from your career focus. So, you have to learn
to shed everything else. – I’m gonna throw a little
bit of a curve ball. I get so much happiness out
of doing things for people who would be, you know, categorized as the way you just broke it down because I have a weird gear inside of me that has zero expectation for the return on someone’s selfishness. I know that’s a little bit of a mouthful, but it’s just, it’s probably why I’m so ridiculously happy. I have such little
expectation for the return, it makes me happy to do the give, I sit in front of you
knowing I will accomplish less in my career, and amass less wealth, and a lot of other things,
less time with my family, which is my number one because
I get so much happiness out of some of those actions. So, I would tell you if you’re
in a rare group like myself, make sure you recognize,
in a world where people will tell you that you’re
a sucker for doing it, or things of that nature, you still got to make yourself happy,
but I will tell you, I’m way happier than I was five years ago because I have grown in
my no meter moving a ton. It hasn’t gone to zero,
and I think a lot of people close themselves out of serendipity by saying no too much, right,
and I think we’ve probably both benefited through
our years of the yes when it didn’t make sense on paper. But I’m with you man,
I mean I made a video a long time ago that, The Yes Virus. It’s like the sickness of just
saying, “Yes,” all the time, and it’s a tough one. – Yeah, I mean, I’ve made movies, I made a movie that’s Just Say Yes, like I believe in saying, “Yes,” I believe in embracing
risk, and embracing chance, and all the things that… – Do you think you need to say, “No,” more as you get older? – I just think it’s a learning curve, a very steep learning curve to understand when no is appropriate and
when yes is appropriate, and until you learn
that, you default to yes. – It’s a really, really, or no, my dad defaults to no. I think you and I, like
we have some similarities that makes, like I think
there’s a lot of people there that default to no, I think there’s a lot of people that default. My dad’s opening words are, “Hey dad.” “No.” Like I can’t, “I was gonna
say how was your day?” You know, like no is not a proper. Like, I know a lot of
people that default into no. I think we happen to be surrounded by a lot of people that default into yes. – Yeah, lucky us. – But I think, you know
it’ll be interesting, you know what actually, quick little side question of the day, give me are you a
default yes or no person? I’m just curious for my
own kind of like polling. India, move it along. – [Voiceover] CJ asks,
“How has having a family