Nice to meet you Vayner Nation. (laughs) – What is your question Molly? – My question is I read an article in the New York Times recently. – Is that a newspaper? – It is a newspaper, but my
Mom sent it to me on Facebook. – Amazing. – So, it was called ‘No
Time To Be Nice At Work’ and it was all about how
the workplace is becoming a hostile environment now
because people aren’t civil to one another because of a
bunch of external factors. They’re focused on a bunch
of other different things. – Like what? – So people aren’t nice to each other because the pressure of day-to-day tasks, they’re thinking about something else when they’re in a
conversation with somebody. – OK. – How do you find– – What was the point of the article, like what was it trying to say? – It was trying to say that there’s always time to kind of like take a deep breath and say
hi, how are you, to somebody, which I think you do a really good job of. – Okay. – So how do you find the time to focus? We’re having a conversation right now, this is a great example,
but how do you find the time to focus, be nice to
people, stay in the moment, that kind of thing? – How do I personally? – Yes, you personally. – You know I don’t think I
really have any other gear. I truly believe like DNA and the way you were brought up is real. I truly look around this room and there’s different levels
of being a nice person in this room, it’s just real. It’s just a real thing, right? For me, it’s super easy. So here’s what I would say,
I think that one thing I like to say a lot is money and
micro-fame or real fame doesn’t change a person,
it just exposes a person. So the amount of people
that write me emails or see me in the street like,
“wow you’re…”, they’ll like send a tweet after they take
a selfie with me in the street and they’re like, “Wow, Gary
Vee’s a really nice guy!” Like, you actually get credit
for being a nice person the more exposure you get. Which I think is silly. Which I think is kind of
just a weird kind of dynamic. So, I think that falls in the
same realm as your question which is, you know, I
don’t think external things in the world, like 24/7 world, I don’t think anything’s really changed. I don’t think Gertrude is nicer or meaner because it’s 2013 and
not 1955 anymore, right? I really don’t think that, I
just think Gertrude’s a (beep) and like decided not to be nice just like she wouldn’t have
been nice 30 years ago. And so, for me, I don’t
even know any other Gary. As a matter of fact, I’m
probably a little bit weird the other way, which
is I’m so uncomfortable with negativity and angst,
things of that nature, that I attack it in reverse. A lot of my day is taken up trying to make sure that’s
contained and not happening. So, it’s just my default. I think there’s a lot of value in it. I’m stunned how many people undervalue a head-nod or a “hey”. For me, because as you guys
know I’m running around so much, so much of my stuff is like
a wink or a smile or a, it’s just I don’t have the
time, but it’s so nice. I think people really
value effort, and intent. And I think you can get away with doing so much of that stuff, with
such little stuff, right? And so, for me it’s easy
because my parents had sex at the right moment to give me my DNA. – [Kim] (applause) – Thank you, Kim. And,
– (laughter) and my Mom really parented me in a way to really value other people and all that kind of stuff. And so, I just haven’t
known any different. I love that I get like extra
credit for it now-a-days because a couple people
follow me on social media. But, for me there’s, ya know, and more importantly, and I
think you know this, and I think a lot of you know this and
some of you don’t know this, but it’s what’s more interesting
to me is I believe in it so much the level of which
I’m forcing it down below me, not just leading by example
but being pretty upfront with senior leadership of
how much it matters to me is I think helps our company. – For sure. – Cool.
– It does. – Thanks Mol. – [Group] (applause)

– What’s up Gary? It’s been a minute. Listen, I wanna talk about being selfish. How do you best make
decisions in your own interest even though they might negatively
affect people around you. That’s family, business,
personal, friends, anything. Let me know. – You know how long I’ve known this kid? – How long? – I think there may be a video of him actually being on Wine Library TV. – Really? – Like, eight, nine years ago. Okay, play it again. Jackson. – [Voiceover] It’s been a minute. Listen, I wanna talk about being selfish. How do you best make
decisions in your own interest even though they might negatively
affect people around you. That’s family, business,
personal, friends, anything. – Great question. Great, great, great, great,
great question, Jackson. There’s an interesting
part of your question. I truly truly don’t think that when I’m being selfish, it’s coming at the
detriment of somebody else. And so that’s how I handle it. I think I’m always
selfish and never selfish. Like, it’s just, I’m living. I’m living. The way I justify it a lot of times is I feel like when I’m in
my most selfish place it’s that I’m doing
something that optically looks selfish for me in the short term but is actually gonna positively affect the people in the long term and that I’m making a decision and I think I’m right
in a five year window versus a five month window and that history will allow that person to feel that it was palpable when they rekindle their thoughts around it, even though it might
sting or not feel as great in the short term.

“when dealing with a pissed-off customer?” – (sighs) Charlie, I’ve got
a really interesting answer to my thought process
on pissed-off customers. First and foremost I want
to know if they’re right. So I use myself as the judge of that. And I mean that, I mean I
judge how right they are. if they are 100% right in my opinion, I’m coming in with nothing but empathy, how do I fix it? Lifetime value, whatever it
costs me upfront right now, it doesn’t matter, because they’re right and in the capitalism meritocracy, fairness of the world, I need to make good on the mistake that Wine Library or VaynerMedia, I made, and that’s that. Now if I think they’re wrong, which happens plenty of times as well, maybe 50-50 of the time,
I come with offense, you know, I come to explain to them that I get it, and I have
empathy and I’m sorry, but. Huge capital B-U-T,
but, you’re a douchebag, and let me explain,
blah, blah, blah, blah. And so that is really the way it is. So first and foremost
I assess the situation. I never try to put my
best interests in mind, and so if I think they’re right, Lauren don’t be scared, and
if I don’t think they’re, and if I think that they’re
right, then I’m gonna just do what I said in part one, but if I think they’re wrong, I’m gonna play it a different way. (laughs)

brings a lot of rejection
from my family and peers. What are some ways you build
confidence when rejected?” – Destin, which is not
Dustin and is not Destiny, Destin without a Y, or
Destiny without a Y. Well, you know it’s funny. When the question was asked by India, one thing, first and foremost, you want to make sure, the
way to build confidence is be confident in yourself. I want to make sure first and foremost that you’re not selling
something skeezy, right? Like if everybody doesn’t
have confidence around you, maybe you’re selling something
that is not the right thing. So, first and foremost, are
you selling the right thing? Or are you in ponzi scheme world? Are you in $300 ebook world? Are you in full of shit world? If you’re not in full of shit world, take it from somebody who hasn’t been in full of shit world his whole career, but has done things that people didn’t believe in. E-commerce being number one. Wine Library TV being number two, and then really a social media agency, number three believe it or not. In 09, people still debated
that this was a stupid idea. I think that, you know,
this is a tough one for me to answer because the truth is, I don’t give a crap
what anybody else says. As a matter of fact, I’m
wired a little bit backwards. I prefer that everybody thinks I’m wrong. I feed off of that negativity, and I turn it into positivity. Right, like I literally actually prefer, it’s why I like bad sports teams. It’s interesting. We got to, actually this
worked out perfectly. The reason I really would not want to root for the Yankees anymore, I loved being a Yankees fan in the 80s cause they stunk. The Mets were the team of the 80s when I was a kid. I loved the climb, then they became the establishment, and I pushed against it. It’s my overall thing, right? I’m a very basic character. Like, I like coming from the slums. I like being underestimated, and the second I become the establishment, aka the wine world, it
becomes less interesting. Advertising’s becoming less interesting because I’m starting to
be proven to be right, and it’s just not as fun. Like, I want the push-back. So, you and I are wired
differently if you’re asking this question. My question is like,
how do I stay underdog for longer? You know, and so I feed
off of the negativity. I feed off of like, you’re not right, you’re not right, you’re
not right, you’re not right, I don’t agree, I don’t
agree, I don’t agree. That’s not the way it’s always been done. So, I might not be the right person to answer this because
it’s always been in me. In me is the underdog. In me is the scrapping up. In me is the I’m going to
prove you wrong, sucker.

– [Voiceover] Nicole asks,
“How do you deal with reviews that could impact your business?” – Nicole this is a great question. One of the reasons I had
always been a big push against cut guy, I don’t
know what that means, why I was a loud advocate
in the other direction of things of Yelp, and
other things of that nature, was they were anonymous
reviews, and I knew of PR agencies that were getting
paid to leave negative reviews of their competitors stuff, which is why I was always a big
fan of Facebook and Facebook Connect, real identity. There’s two things to understand,
one I do think anonymous reviews, and anonymous review
sites are losing their equity. I do think that Steve and
India, and all of you watching, and everybody at Meerkat, what’s up. You know, I love doing that, Take anonymous reviews with
a grain of salt, right? Like that’s changed, like
from 2004, compared to now, you just take them with a
grain of salt because we have become cynical to knowing
people do it on purpose. The big thing that I think
you should do when somebody, your right, we live in this
crappy world, where you guys are serving at a restaurant,
and I always use restaurant because they– Or an airline, airlines are
doing things so right, on a like they’re flying planes,
machines in the air, on crossing the world, at
scale, landing at the proper times, leaving at the proper
times, keeping us safe, they’re given us wi-fi
in there, it’s cozy. These are big machines, they’re
like flying through the air, and if it’s like a 8 minute
delay, you’re like “Fuck you “Delta,” I mean it’s crazy,
it’s crazy talk, anyway, so you’re right, we don’t
get the credit for the good, we get dismantled for the
bad, right? Like the athletes that are doing wrong
things all over the place, all the one that are doing
charitable things and great things, nobody wants to cover that. It’s just unfortunately the way it is. Now, did my boy Aton get a rare, that he’s making a comeback. That makes me happy, I can’t
wait to see what he did, make sure you email me that
moment because I don’t watch the show. (laughing) I think that you should jump
into any Yelp review, or any foursquare review, or any
review, any negative review that you have to jump in
and answer every one of them immediately. “Hey, saltypants49, call
me, here’s the number. “I’m super upset. I don’t understand. “I remember you.” Don’t fight it. Fighting it is feeding the wrong energy. You’re in business, this is their opinion. They could be wrong, but you
need to at least have one more level of empathy and
listening before you get into the fight of it,
and so the way you can handle it is by jumping,
monitoring it, and jumping into all of them, because the
optics of you jumping in, to the rest of the world, is
actually more powerful in the amplification of who
and what your intent is, and the depth of actually
giving a crap about that one person, really, really matters. – Hey Gary, here’s my question,
when will social marketing

nothing but apologies, such as Comcast. Should they take a break from
Twitter and fix their product?” – Yes. And even if your product
is completely broken you shouldn’t be in full apology mode at all times. – [Voiceover] John asks,
“Blackberry used to be socially hip.

“can piss you off?” – Ruke, you know, it’s
interesting, I’m not the kind of character that gets
pissed off so quickly. I’m pretty much a love and zen kind of guy for all my intensity, I
think that throws people off a little bit in reality. Obviously if you punch
me directly in the face, or hurt somebody I care about
right here, that would be bad. But overall the actual
answer to your question is hypocrisy and cynicism. Those are the two things
that I can’t consume. The amount of cynics out there, though it’s really one of
the funnier kind of cards that people play on
social media specifically, I see played less in real
life, really bothers me. And boy, if you’re
complaining about something you actually do, and I have
some friends and family members who play that, that just
drives me up the wall. – [Voiceover] Vineyard
Paul asks, “How do I use

– [Voiceover] Marin asks, do you ever complain and what’s your attitude
toward complaining in business and in life in general? – Marin, I appreciate this question and I’m curious how much you know me or if you’re asking that
because the truth is if you look at my historical tweets, hundred thousand plus, maybe there’s two complaints. You know, maybe you can get to three. One of the people I look
up to most in the world, maybe the person I look
up to most in the world tied with my dad, I know
dad, you might watch this, is my mother. And, hands down, and I mean, hands down, the thing that I find most
intriguing about my mom and probably one of the
things that I’m most happy that she’s passed on
to me is her inability, almost, to complain. I find it extremely attractive. I would tell you that I adore
my wife for that reason. As a matter fact, Xander
is whining too much and he’s only two and
I find it unattractive. I’m very against complaining. I’m very, put your head down. I’m very, don’t you
realize you’re healthy? Like, to me the only thing
you should complain about is the the unfortune, unluck of health. You know, somebody dying that
you love in a car accident or you becoming terminally ill. After that, it feels controllable. And so, I really dislike complaining. I try to, I talk a lot
about honey over vinegar. It’s an analogy I use a
lot here at VaynerMedia. I thrive on positivity and so the way I deal with complaining
is I try not to do it. I try to educate and empower people the lack of it’s value, I guess. I mean, I don’t have a gear. You know, when you go in my gear, like there is no, like, oh
let me go into complain zone. To me, it’s assess, figure it out, and go directly back on the offense. I’m a very offensive player. Complaining is the defense. – [Voiceover] Robert asks, I’ve
been doing a lot of jabbing,