“Gary, how do you maintain
a good, pleasant mood with family after a long day of hustle?” – Sandy, great question. India, was it you replied
in email who’s like, yeah, I wanna know that answer too? Look, here’s the thing. You know, this is only one person, I’ve always had, and my
dad did not do this well, and maybe that’s why it affected me, I am so grateful and so thankful to the family members that allow me, my wife specifically, allow me the freedom to hustle the way I do. I feel like it’s totally inappropriate to disrespect that
love, to then carry over my headaches home, in general. And this is something that
the people that know me best, the nicest thing they can say to me, and it happens, you know,
it’s been said to me 12 times in my life,
nothing, but my best friend, Brandon, who runs
Wine Library, my mom, my sister, my wife,
AJ, my dad hasn’t, anyway, there’s been a couple
people that have said to me how much they admire that
I never take my headaches out on them. I think it was really,
at the end of the day, two people, people that need somebody else to dump their headaches
on, and people that collect those headaches. I admire my mom tremendously, she collects everybody’s headaches. I’m very thankful that I took that DNA. I’m thrilled to hear your headaches, but I have no interest in giving you mine. And so, that foundation, that DNA trait allows me to walk right in home with all the insanity, lost this client, cash flow’s not as good, problem, can’t ship to this state anymore, didn’t get that deal,
this deal fell through, didn’t get that opportunity, number two in the New York Times, you know, something way worse than that, like, somebody’s leaving that I don’t want, somebody’s sick that I don’t to be sick. All these things that
are life and are intense, the second I walk in that door, I need to repay that amazing family that has given me the
opportunity to do my thing, I need to shut that all off
and turn on a different gear, and the truth is it’s just easy for me. No different than when Kobe, Staphon, let’s Kobe, show Staphon, you know, when Kobe goes on the court, he becomes a different character. That’s how, I’m very much like that. On stage, different dude. Right now, different dude. Running this company, different dude. Walk in the house, different dude. And so, I just have a lot of gears. I gear it up.

– [Voiceover] CJ asks,
“How has having a family “changed your long term view of work? “And what does retirement mean to you?” – CJ asked a good question. I’ll let you go, cause I know you’re a new father of a second. – Yeah, so what does family
have to do with work? I think family is the ultimate cheat, and what I mean by that is I had a kid when I was 16, I’ve always had a family since I was an adult, my entire adult life I’ve had a family, and it gives you a reason
to do all this work, and that downtrodden feeling you can have, which is like, “Why am I doing this? “Why am working another night
til three in the morning?” When you have family, for
me, it gives me my purpose, my reason for doing
everything I do is my family. Part two retirement,
retirement’s my biggest fear. Retirement is what people
do when they wait to die. My grandmother was a tap dancer, and she had a tap dance school, and she taught tap everyday of her life, and she taught tap on a Friday, and she died on a Monday when she was 92. That’s my fantasy. I want to work until the last minute, I want to be working in my
hospital bed as I’m dying. So, that’s how I feel about retirement. – I’ll start with
retirement, I’m you know, in the complete same camp. You know, that is my nightmare. I want to die on Monday, on
the Monday that I’m working. I didn’t need those two days in between. You know, I’m with you
I think, you know look, I will say this, there’s one weird retirement fantasy I have, which is to be an old man sitting at the racetrack, having some nickname like one eyed Gary, and
like betting on the ponies. I do like the notion of
the ponies as an old man, so there’s a little bit of that. You know, the family, work
life balance whole thing I think is completely counter punching. Meaning, I hate giving an answer to this because I think it really is
predicated on your partner, and then the evolution of your kids. My partner part I really
kind of took care of. I mean, I was looking for Lizzie, when I found her, I locked her up, married her immediately, we were married within the year of meeting. I told her on our first date
that we were getting married. I knew that she was independent enough and could, I intuitively
felt that she could handle the insanity that is me. It’s crazy, I feel like
we’re still dating. Because you know I travel so much, and like I’m busy, but like
it’s just over communication. When I see a little
strain, I’ll cancel a trip, I won’t say yes, you know, I try to hack, the kids are a whole new variable. You know, now that
Misha’s five and a half, I’ve got to get ready for: They may not be like Lizzie. You know, my little Xander might want me at every single thing at every moment. So, I’m starting to get mentally prepared to counter punch their reality. Kids are always going to
want their parents around, but what’s the hack, right. Like, do I, like it’s
funny, I’ve been traveling, and where I speak now, I spoke in Anaheim and I noticed that Disneyland
was right next door, so I’m like, “Maybe I’ll do
these speaking engagements “cause I’ll take the kids,
let them see what dad does, “and then a full day of…” So, it’s interesting how my brain is starting to adjust to: What’s their reality gonna be like? So, my answer to your question is counter punching, what I mean by that is gross over communicating. Having those conversations
with your spouse or with your partner,
having those conversations maybe even at an early
age with your children. – [Voiceover] Shay asks,
“Think back to a time

your brand with the public. How personal is too personal? Where do you draw the line?” – Kyle, I think for
everybody it’s different. I draw a line heavily around the kids. I don’t do a lot of stuff
with Xander and Misha, but I’m also thrilled to put out a picture of me being on the toilet. Everybody’s got different lines. Some people are very conservative. Some people are extremely aggressive. Some people take photos nude, some don’t even wanna
show their belly button. Everybody’s got their own objectives, their own agenda, their own
North Star or what’s too much. For me, I just always go on gut feel. What may be too much
last week might not be too much tomorrow. I don’t really I don’t really second guess my feelings. I’ve done pretty well with them. For me, it’s what I’m
feeling of the moment. I like getting personal. I think it allows people
to get closer to you. I love doing this show for that reason, and so that’s where I’m at. – [Voiceover] Autumn asks, “I
wondering what everyone thinks

believed so much in me. Back in the days were you
more afraid of letting yourself down or your family?” – You know, I’ve always
been really worried about letting myself down more so than my parents. Kinda feel as though
that would be a trickle down effect if I worried about myself, then my parents would be proud. I took at lot of pressure
in my mom’s belief in me. I took enormous pressure
in my dad’s belief in me in the way that he set me up for success and gave me all that
autonomy at 22 years old to run a company. It’s always and forever going to be about me for me. It’s a very selfish thing. To me, it’s I need to make myself proud, and that’s kind of how I navigate as a human being and
definitely as a business man. Look I’m not perfect, and nobody is, and nothing. The people that know me the best, they know the only time I’m pissed and I’m fiesty is when
I’m upset with myself. – [Voiceover] Kyle asks, “You
get very personal when building

“Hey Gary, how can a small, local, non-medial in-home senior care agency incorporate the Thank You Economy into our business with our clients and their families?” – I think it’s a piece of cake actually. I think you map the data of
the families of the clients and you follow them on social, follow them on Facebook and Twitter. See what they care about, and if somebody talks about being a huge Padres fan, maybe you ask their loved one to take a picture with a Padres hat, and then you put it in a box, the picture, physical, yeah, that still happens, with the Padres hat and you send it and say how much fun
you’re having spending the time with their loved one. I’m sure anybody whose got a loved one in a certain situation, getting
a letter from that place with this Padres hat,
because you’re a Padres fan, and it’s saying how much
you enjoy having their grandfather or great
grandmother in the facility would extremely warm their heart, and create a real depth
moment, and you’re doing it both physically, because then
every time they wear that hat or see that hat, they
think of that moment. It’s got more longevity. The Thank You Economy is
quite easy my friends. The Thank You Economy
is not about the tactics that I just laid out. The Thank You Economy
is about the religion of actually doing it. – [Voiceover] Florian asks, “How
do you see the world in 2018

a young woman to brand herself on YouTube if she’s worried about privacy
and security for her family?” – Dana, that’s a tough
question for me to answer because I’m acutely aware that
a lot of practices that I do, I would struggle to
execute if I was a woman, and definitely, the thing
that I spend a lot of time on this lately, serendipitously,
I’ve been in a couple of meetings with a couple
of friends, that are what I would call, very attractive
girls, and that becomes– Call it whatever you want to call it, that becomes a whole nother variable. And so women have it different. I’m thrilled for people to leave comments, and I know they will, and say, “No…” Yes. Women have it different,
African Americans have it different, Latinos have it
different, context out there is different. White males
have certain advantages. And putting yourself out
there, as a woman, leads to dudes being dudes, what I
mean, dudes are jerk offs, and they’re scum buckets,
and it’s just how we roll. Don’t be mad at us, we
were given chemicals that made us want to be
hunters and we just don’t know how to handle that 94% of the
time, I’m in the six percent. What I would say is, carefully. I’m petrified to give an answer
here because if one deems into an uncomfortable situation
for you, but I think, look– I think there’s different
levels, I mean, the fact– Here’s a good example, it is
very hard to find pictures of my kids on the Internet, right? And your question actually
has your child in the picture. I’m not calling you out
for that, I’m saying, clearly you have some comfort level of putting yourself out there. This is not an answer for
me, or for anybody else, this is the answer for yourself. But what I would tell
you is to be careful, but to recognize people are good. The number one underrated brand in the world is human beings. The mainstream media
spends all of its time telling us about the terrible
.01% of us, as humans. But the truth is, it is
stunning, in the world that we live in now, where
everybody’s putting out their information, where they
are, how they roll, who their relatives are,
how empty their home is. Remember when Foursquare came
out, and everyone was like, “Oh, everybody’s gonna rob you”, because– Let’s put up that article,
I’m gonna find it. Put it up here. This was an
article that was literally written, google right now like “burglar Foursquare robbing your house”. Everyone’s like, “Oh, you
can’t check into places because people are gonna
know you’re not home and they’re gonna rob you.” Ludicrous. You found it already? – [India] There’s something
called please rob me. – Yeah, please rob me. It
doesn’t happen because 99.999% of us, who are watching this
show, living in this world, are good people. So, look, I’m
not giving you advice on this because I care way too much
about the health and wellbeing of your family, and I
care way less than you do. So you need to roll your
way. But I will say this, people are good. It’s stunning how
many more bad things can happen to you by percentage
than the stalker that’s gonna come to your house and hurt you. It is far riskier to drive
a car than 99% of the things people talk about around social media. That’s just my context point
but I will not give you an answer because when it comes to family, everybody has to make their own decisions. – [Voiceover] Jonny asks,
“Any tips on giving

– [Voiceover] Ben asks, “Gary, what have your children
taught you about life and business?” – First of all that was a great video I think the Instagram
videos have huge potential as well. The creativity’s coming
through more than the YouTube videos where it’s
just that person’s face. So, that’s a lot of fun. You know, it’s funny. I took this question as well
because I think my answer is going to be super unpopular. I think a lot of people are going to be, everyone’s looking for
the romantic answer, you know the truth is, I love my kids insanely, but I love my
wife and I love my parents so insanely that, I love them more but, DRock’s always scared when
I go politically incorrect, it’s the truth and I promised
to be very honest in this. Do I love my kids more than my parents? It’s a really interesting debate for me. It’s much closer than the
normal politically correct answer that I hear from others, so it’s not like that taught me how to love. People say that all the time. I was fucking loving everything before. I guess at the end of the
day, the things that really really, you know what
this is the true answer. The thing that my kids
have taught me about life, and I guess I believe
this very much in business and so many of you that
have been jamming with me for a long time know. They’ve taught me from the
other side, how powerful DNA really is. Watching my kids do the
same exact things I do, like Misha when she
performs in our living room, she’s spending more time
trying to paying attention if we’re paying attention than
on her actually performance. That’s what I do. When I give talks, I’m like
looking in the crowd to make sure they’re not on their phone. You know Xander’s looks of ‘I got you’, it’s just crazy. So, they’ve taught me how powerful DNA is, and maybe they’ve taught me to a more extreme level of respect for Lizzy. She’s just an incredible
mother and just watching how she’s executing in
her role with them is has taught me a lot about her. But, for me, they haven’t
taught me jack crap about business and other
than the reason I bet on people is based on my
intuition around their DNA and then I watch their
DNA come full throttle I’m just a big DNA guy. – [Voiceover] Lex asks,

– [Voiceover] Christopher
asks, “What are your thoughts “on employing friends?” – Christoper, this is a great question for a lot of people who watch my stuff. They make that connection on
the family business thing. I get enormous amounts
of, excuse me, email from people that are
the sons and daughters of business owners because
they knew my narrative now that I’m running Vayner with AJ, I’m getting some more
brother and sister stuff, and I’m getting a little older. I’m even getting some of the perspective from the dads and the moms. I have employed friends at both Wine Library and VaynerMedia. VaynerMedia was started with
five of AJ’s dear friends that I think the number
one advice I’d say is you should absolutely. I’m emphatic about this, and you guys know I’m big on, you know,
do what works for you, but I’m a huge fan of hiring friends, especially early on, to establish culture, to have those teammates in the trenches, especially if you’re willing
to practice meritocracy. So the key to friends is that,
here we are five years later, and AJ’s five to six high
school and college friends that started the company with us are in different places
within the organization and not really treated any
differently at the highest levels than anybody else, and very honestly, I hope they’re not listening
or watching the show, they may even be treated
slightly harder and worse than everybody else because
I’m so sensitive to it in the other direction. I expect the six of you not
to hit me up for a raise. I think that I’m a big fan of it. I recommend it. It is risky. I have fired my friends in the past. Brandon was my best friend growing up. He runs Wine Library. Risky. You know, it really comes
down to, here’s my belief. My belief is very simple. If you loose a friendship
from somebody working for you and not working out and
you having to fire them or them leaving, then your friendship wasn’t as strong as you thought. That’s the bottom line.

– [Voiceover] Harold asks,
“Will you force your children “to partake in the business like your dad? “Will you be disappointed
if they don’t want to?” – My dad never forced me. You know, you hear a story of my dad, I’ve said it, “My dad forced
me into the business!” He forced me into the business
as a 14 year old child. Child labor, Dad. AJ never worked at Wine Library. I think one summer, if
you’re listening or watching, AJ, I know you worked there one summer. (people laughing) But, you know, he never
worked in the business. I think that, you know, for my parents, look I was a crap-student, and I was a great salesman as a kid. There was such a natural
segue to the impact that my mom fully believed in, and she was closest to the situation. I have no, I’m weird with this issue, man. First of all, I’m a dark dude. Can we go black-and-white on this? Can we go black-and-white,
and darker on the black? Really?
– [DRock] Yeah. – Cool. I’m a dark dude. You know how they tell you not to compete with your children? That’s, like, a top-five flaw in society. That will not be something
I’m successful in. Kids, Misha, Xander, I’m sorry. I’m overdue. Xander is two-and-a-half years old, he has a basketball set
up in the living room; and I’ve blocked every
one of his shots, so far. To the point where he picks up a ball, if I’m in the room, he starts crying, he goes, “No block!” “No!” like this is what Xander does. Even if I’m, like, 10 minutes away because he knows what’s coming, which is he’s not scoring
until he can score. I am fine. I love my kids unconditional. If they’re schlemiels and
can’t sell water in desert well, then that’s just
the way it ended up being. Right, like, Lizzie and I
had sex at the wrong moment if that’s somethin’ I cared about. That’s what it is. So, I just want them to
focus on their strengths. I wanna put them in a position to succeed. I think financially and connections-wise, there’s a very good chance
that that’s gonna happen. You know, you do the best you can. Very much the way I’m gonna parent has a lot to do with the
way that I run companies. And I think that the people
who have worked for me and close to me, probably
feel really happy and feel good about my
kids’ opportunities. Because I care and I
have no disappointment if they don’t wanna work for, at the point, The New York Jets. And, so, that’s it. No, I have no hesitation. I mean, if my kids go
completely the other way, and are not commerce driven, and are anti-business, and wanna live in who-knows-where feeding who-knows-what, doing whatever. If they wanna save the
one-legged butterfly in some god-knows-place in
the corner of the world I’m gonna hope that they’re the best at saving the one-legged butterfly. I’m gonna try to help them
save the one-legged butterfly. Should would register
one-legged butterfly dot com? We should. I just will support them unconditionally as long as they’re good human beings. And treat people with respect, and treat people with the 51, 49% thing, and be the bigger man, woman. I don’t care what they do as long as they do it in a
way that 5,000 arbitrators would say, “That’s a good person!” – Hey, Bridget Willard here