“Which do you prefer
[abrasive vs. compassionate] “when getting a point understood
to meet goals and why?” – Josh, I’m curious why
you’re asking this question. I think it’s maybe because you’ve realized I’m abrasive and compassionate
at the same time. And I’m very thankful that
I have a tool belt where I pull out a lot of different emotions. Competitiveness, caring,
warmth, sensitvity, straight disrespect. One of my favorites. (click) Such a deli– that was me drinking self disrespect. Such a delicious flavor. Every situation calls for
a different concoction. And so, what I spend
most of my time really thinking about is getting to know all the different employees
and trying to fig– Did you like that Staphon
showed up in the back? (trucks revving) I’m over here. Getting to know each and every employee on an individual basis, understanding the situation at hand, and then being smart enough as the leader, as the CEO, to deploy the right mix, the
right blend at that moment for the task at hand. I actually have no emotion and no favorite move. No, I don’t prefer
combativeness to compassion to respect to any of this. I really just whatever
I think at that moment is the right move. Sometimes I’ll do six
months worth of compassion and then straight karate chop, sweep the leg to the mouth, because clearly that wasn’t working. So, I’m adjusting in
real time to my clients, to my employees, to my investors, to my startups. This is a never-ending,
constantly 24/7, 365. Test and learn. Use your intuition and not get romantic or not get into a habit of
using one move over and over because a funny thing
happens with these things. It’s kind of like medicine. If you use it too often, it stops working as well. – [Voiceover] Raymond asks,
(hip-hop music)

“when dealing with a pissed-off customer?” – (sighs) Charlie, I’ve got
a really interesting answer to my thought process
on pissed-off customers. First and foremost I want
to know if they’re right. So I use myself as the judge of that. And I mean that, I mean I
judge how right they are. if they are 100% right in my opinion, I’m coming in with nothing but empathy, how do I fix it? Lifetime value, whatever it
costs me upfront right now, it doesn’t matter, because they’re right and in the capitalism meritocracy, fairness of the world, I need to make good on the mistake that Wine Library or VaynerMedia, I made, and that’s that. Now if I think they’re wrong, which happens plenty of times as well, maybe 50-50 of the time,
I come with offense, you know, I come to explain to them that I get it, and I have
empathy and I’m sorry, but. Huge capital B-U-T,
but, you’re a douchebag, and let me explain,
blah, blah, blah, blah. And so that is really the way it is. So first and foremost
I assess the situation. I never try to put my
best interests in mind, and so if I think they’re right, Lauren don’t be scared, and
if I don’t think they’re, and if I think that they’re
right, then I’m gonna just do what I said in part one, but if I think they’re wrong, I’m gonna play it a different way. (laughs)

“What are bad habits you had and overcame, “and how did overcoming
them aid your growth “as an entrepreneur?” – Shady, good question. Not like the last one. I think the things I
overcame were big eyes. Which was, hey I’m gonna
do a lot of things at once. Actually, I don’t know
if I’ve overcome it. I’ve gotten a little bit better. Definitely in this chapter
of building VaynerMedia I’ve overcome that issue, I’ve been really focused
as CEO of VaynerMedia, and general partner of Vayner/RSE. So, I’ve been really focused. And so, big eyes. Just trying to do too many things at once. And what that’s allowed
me to do is be successful and build another big business instead of half-pregnant across the board. I think the other thing that I’ve overcome is I’ve started, and I’m still not great at this either, these are always works in progress when it’s not the thing that
comes most natural to you, but I think what I’ve
been doing well lately is I’ve been giving more honest, critical, direct to people’s face feedback. You know, I tend to be a little bit soft, I’m much more of a honey over vinegar guy. Between our former manager
and director Kelly and AJ, very straight-shooter operators, they’ve moved me along. I’ve definitely evolved in that category. I’m definitely better at it. I still want to deal with a ton of empathy and heart and soul, but shooting it straight is
bringing more value to me and it’s just speeding up
the process of victory. You can’t have a CEO,
I wouldn’t say I’m not, I’m very decisive, but boy, delivering bad news
does not come natural to me and I don’t love it. Building infrastructure around me and then doing it myself
has been an important evolution that I’ve done
much better at VaynerMedia than I’ve done at Wine Library, and what that’s given me is a thing that a lot of you know that I value which is speed.

“How important is failure? “You hear a bunch of people saying “how important it is to fail. “But is it really?” – Youssef, great question. You know, look, I think
failure has to be quantified. If you fail but you never
can get up from it again, you know, that’s not a good failure. I think failure and adversity are the two things I think about. For me, as an entrepreneur,
and very entrepreneurial, and always in my own
stuff, all the failures along the way, even going
back to the baseball card show when I was thirteen, that I
paid 400 dollars for a table and nobody showed up to
that baseball card show. That was a learning lesson. Those microfailures were
super, super important. I think, you know, it depends
on your stomach, right? Like, if you really fail,
like go out of business, I think people take
one of two ways, right? They’re like, just finished,
and they’re never able to get off the mat, and they
go in a different direction, so to me, I think quantifying
the failure’s important to me. Jack, Suzy? – Well, I’ll give you
one, I blew up a factory the second year I was in business. Sky high, my boss all of
a sudden didn’t know me, I went down to see his boss in New York, which he pointed me to,
and the guy asked me a thousand questions,
using the Socratic method. And instead of me getting fired, which I thought was a high probability, I learned something from it. So, in every one of these
events, you gotta get yourself back on the horse, and how
well you get back on the horse and how well you ride after
getting knocked on your butt is a very big deal. – We tell our kids,
“Fail early and often.” Fail, because then what
happens is, when you do fail, you realize it doesn’t kill you. You go on living, and you realize, “Okay, you know, I can pick myself up, “here’s how I’m gonna reinvent myself, “here’s how I’m gonna talk about it, “I’m gonna own it, I’m
gonna say I got fired “from the Harvard Business Review.” I tell people I got fired from
the Harvard Business Review, and here’s the thing. It gives you heart for people
who have also fallen down, and you actually sort of have a – Empathy. – A totally different
understanding for people who have fallen down. You’ve been there, and you can, it just makes you a better person. You don’t wanna keep failing constantly, but to be scared– – That’s a very bad idea. – No, you don’t wanna fail all the time, but you can’t be too scared of it, because it stops you
from doing big things. – Yeah, you know, it’s funny,
I was just having a meeting with a lot of senior
executives here at VaynerMedia, and I said, “Look, guys. “I don’t need peacetime generals,” right? I need wartime generals,
meaning I need executives, like of course I know
this brand’s going well and this brand’s going well
and this brand’s going well. What are you doing about the client that’s not happy right now? Right? And I think failure
makes people better at that, and so that’s another kind
of thing that I look for in this subject matter. Alright, let’s move on. – [Voiceover] Chris asks,
“Is terminating the bottom

That’s a good question, thanks Meerkat. – [DRock] Who was it? – He doesn’t know. That’s why he said
somebody, or you got it? It scrolls. – [Staphon] Yeah, at, Jesus Christ, now everybody’s asking. – Yeah, it’s over, sorry
if you asked this question. No IP love. You know, I think it takes
a million different things depending on what the job is. It’s about the right job
for the right person. So, the answer is, anybody
probably could work at Vayner at some level, they just have to have self awareness if
they are a project manager, or a creative director,
account sup., a CM, but it definitely takes, I think the more interesting question is: What does it take to win at VaynerMedia? Right, so like getting
in, like we’ve had plenty of winners and losers get in. How to win here I think is a fine balance of one, having empathy and self awareness, and respecting the others around you. Having patience, I think a lot of people lose within the first six,
12, 18 months at Vayner because they’re just not
playing the long game, and they either want a
raise, or a promotion, or have the audacity of
like thinking they’re better than they are, but while equally, this is back to pulling
in both directions, I want that bravado and confidence, and all those things. So, I think it’s about making networks, having relationships,
having self awareness, having patience, over communication. You know, like what if this
machine is doing bad by you, I respect that. We’re not perfect. I want to be there for
you, so are you speaking to Minnie in HR, or me,
or AJ, or your leaders within your organization, or
at least 30 to 50 people here that have been here for
a year to three years that are really the foundation
of the ethos of the company. So you know, I think there’s
a lot of different things that it takes, but it
definitely takes hard work, it definitely takes smarts, but what trumps status, it takes heart. – [India] I found who asked the question.

– [Voiceover] Eddie
asks, “What three values “do you hold highest in life?” – Eddie this is a great question. You know, I don’t know
if I have three values that I hold, I’ll just
start rattling off things that I really appreciate. You know, I think the
first, you know, thing, and I don’t know if this is in any order, but I’m a humongous fan of patience. Lack of patience has caused so many people from not achieving the
upside that they deserve, and that kills me. You know, the value of (spits) this. Word is bond, I think really matters. I think, you know, having
somebody in your life that you just know that you can trust because when they say
they’re gonna do something, they do it, and then in a weird way, contradicting that, but not really, I’m a huge fan of somebody who’s nimble and empathetic, because when
you really think about it, I, for example, am telling
you that I love (spits) word is bond, but then when somebody actually (spits) does that,
and doesn’t deliver on it, in a weird way, I’m okay with it. And I’m very attracted to
that own characteristic within myself, because
I think I understand that even though you really wanted to, you know, something
happened that made you not, and I want to dig into why, and so I think nimbleness, or empathy is
very, very, very important. I think people that are grateful
are extremely attractive, you know, nothing’s more ugly to me than somebody who’s spoiled, and I think, you know, at some level,
hypocrisy is the thing I hate the most in the world. So, the opposite of that,
which is maybe (spits) that, or I don’t know, but those
are things that come to mind. – [Voiceover] Chris asks,
“Has the selfie replaced

– [Voiceover] Pressian asks,
“How exactly did your mother instill that self-confidence in you?” – And finally, Pressian, thank you so much for
asking this question, ’cause I always love
to brag about my mama. She she instilled so much self-confidence in me because of a couple things. One, I probably had some
level of it in my own DNA, but she brainwashed me. My mom made me think that
the things that I was doing that many parents, on the negative side, put down their kids for, what the far majority of
parents would consider mundane, like getting a good haircut or, like, running quickly to pick up the ball, like it was so athletic, stuff that none of you would ever think is the kind of thing that you
would compliment your child for, the kind of things I compliment Misha for, which is the greatest
twirl I’ve ever seen ever, is what she did for me, and you know what? You start believing it. I can tell you this, and I’m positive of this, I know that the peeps in this room think more highly of themselves today than before they started jamming with me. The reason this company is so special, one of the funniest things
that happens in this company, is when somebody comes
in new that’s senior and they are completely flabbergasted by the confidence of the
youngsters in this room. And I bet you, as they’re all
thinking about it right now, and obviously Staphon and India
are here a little bit less, and DRock a little bit in the middle, and Alex a little less,
and Steve a lot more, I know that that’s what I do, maybe not to the extreme
level that my mom did for me, obviously it was very focused, one child. We have many children in the house, but I would even say that many of you have started to feel that way, because the truth is, my friends, positive energy is a good thing. I don’t know what else to tell you. And when it comes from a pure place, it’s double good. And so she just focused on it. It’s in her and the way that
it’s in me, we’re similar, and she just kept pounding
me and making me feel like the ordinary was something
that was extraordinary, until I finally believed it so much that that’s what I feel
about myself all the time. And if you don’t have good
empathy and self-awareness, it can go into a very dangerous place, but if you know how to balance it, and my mom balanced it by
punching me in my mouth with her raw hand, not kidding, when I
would do something wrong, so she’s got a little old-school
Eastern European in her, and that’s how she did it, with an enormous balance of just good stuff, man,
really good parenting. Really, really, really good parenting.

“to one of genuinely
caring about the customer “when the current ethos
is so established?” – Andrew, Andrew. There’s only one way to change the culture when it’s broken to something genuine. Kill leadership. Leadership is in charge of the culture. Everything, my friend, stems from the top when it gets into the DNA. So do not let the leader,
the CEO, the board, whoever it may be, do not let
her, him, make an excuse that something is happening
below in middle management, or some other things,
because she’s in charge, he’s in charge of that middle management. Every problem at VaynerMedia, is my fault. Right here, you’re looking
right at this face. It’s my fault because I
empower everybody else to create that culture, and
so how do you change it? You change the top, and if the top owns it ’cause it’s the family business, or just became the new CEO, and it’s not going to
change, then you need to get the hell out of there
because the only people that can change culture are
the people from the top. It’s true you can hack from the bottom, you can maybe then inspire the top, but that top still has to make the decision. That is the judge of culture. – [Voiceover] Saura asks:
“How do you book speaking