“Jewel, why do you think so many
people struggle to be happy?” – Because happiness
is a byproduct, not an actual destination. And so people have this
misconception that they’re gonna find happiness like it’s Europe and they’re never
gonna move out. (laughs) Happiness is a
byproduct of certain behaviors and can set yourself up to win and you can set
yourself up to be happy. The sad thing is happiness is a
learned skill and a lot of our houses don’t teach happiness. That was the situation
I was in and so I actually just started studying
people that were happy and I saw what
the algorithm was. What did they do that’s similar
and for me I don’t focus on happiness as much as harmony. I don’t really believe in the
word balance ’cause balance is a binary thing like oof,
it’s a great very tedious. Harmony is saying my
life has many components. I’m a woman,
I’m a mom, I am sexual,
I am spiritual. I’m a businessperson, all of
those limbs have to have tone and that brings about harmony. That brings about satisfaction. If only have one limb
that is very buff and the rest of us is atrophied, we have disharmony,
we have dissatisfaction but there’s no human school and so that’s what I’m
looking at starting. I want to be able to teach
people emotional and mindfulness skills so that they can
gain tone in every area. – From my standpoint, you know
since Jewel took it up here, I will take into one very narrow
place that I’ve been really try to spend a lot of time
on and that’s perspective. It’s so interesting to me why
I deem myself happy because I just am so grateful.
– Mhmmm. – Like the thing we got excited
about of you know the data behind being a human
being is 400 trillion to 1. When you just start there and
you realize forget about the odds of like beating
homelessness and like other or like being born in a communist
country like just actually becoming a human. I always make the joke that your mom could have had
another glass of wine. Or your dad could have
been late because of traffic. The odds are so insane. I’m just so grateful for what
I have versus what I don’t have and I think people just have all
these admirations and envy and all these hard-wiring things. To me, it’s perspective
just like there’s always, I just generally believe there’s
always somebody that has it worse and the problem is that’s
where I default into mentally and have practiced
to put myself there versus somebody’s got it better. – And the importance
with gratitude is, I do a gratitude
practice every night, and when you’re grateful,
you can’t be angry, you can’t be resentful. It literally just leaves
no room for anything else. – I’m just grateful. Alright, And.
– [Andy] Cool. Alan asks,–
– Alan.

“What if you have a troubled
past that you overcame? “Hide it or embrace it?” – Well listen, I mean,
this is a tough question, it’s something I think a lot about, and I do think, and you’ve
been hearing from me, meditation, mental health,
I think the next frontier in the next 50 years of society, within the business
context, within society, gun control,
all these other things, we’re going to be talking
more and more about the brain. Mental health, mental status. You know, there are
people in this world that come from such tough beginnings. We talk a lot about
poverty, and opportunity, I think because we talk
about entrepreneurship. We don’t talk, I don’t talk, a lot about you know,
you were raped as a child, your parents were murdered. You know, some of these really
extreme, difficult things. I don’t understand, or know,
what Joe’s troubled past or if he’s referring
for a friend or himself. I think we all have
different versions of a troubled past. Like some people
would say I got bullied, and that was my troubled past. Others would say
I was sexually molested, and that’s my troubled,
like these all vary, and so Joe what I would say
is I have no interest in sitting here on a high
horse and deploying generic blanket statements. I think that we should be, I do think that being
yourself 100% is something that people are attracted to. I think all of us, in
the same way that America actually doesn’t hate the crime, they hate when you
try to cover it up, because we know that you
are not being authentic, and you’re trying to trick me, I think that’s the same
reason we react so well to people that go very far, that own up to things,
that are super transparent, that are willing to go there, and so what I would
say is, you know, you should challenge
yourself to go as far down that funnel as you can
because it is absolutely an attractive quality
that creates opportunity, happiness, business
opportunities for one. However, I don’t think you
have to air your dirty laundry, and I do think that
there’s a lot of help, and many other things
that people have to do to be able to share things. I do not feel comfortable
sitting here saying yes, share your deepest,
darkest things, because maybe you’re
not emotionally ready. I don’t know you on
an individual basis. What I can tell you is
that everyday I try to push harder in exposing
more of my thoughts, and exposing more of my truths, and exposing more
of my weaknesses, and exposing more of my scars, and it’s a struggle for me, because you guys have seen
over the last DailyVee’s I don’t spend a lot of time
on my weaknesses or my past. From yesterday’s
episode’s first question, I don’t hold grudges,
I don’t have a shit list. It’s because I just don’t
believe in containing negativities, and so
the only reason at this point in my life I’m trying
to think about my flaws or my struggles, is I want to give you, the
people who have decided to give me your time, I feel a
sense of responsibility to all of you that are
giving me your time. How many people are
on there right now? – [Voiceover] One point five. – For the 1500 of you right
now that are on Facebook Live, I feel a sense of responsibility
that in the middle of the day, or if you’re in
Europe, later in the day. The fact that right now
1500 of you could be doing something completely different, but I have been
gifted your attention, which I think is the
number one asset, I’m trying to challenge myself, I’m trying to challenge myself, to expose some of my weaknesses
and things of that nature, but it’s a real struggle for me. You know,
so I’m almost the reverse, like I can’t even
begin to think about my tough upbringing
or different things, like I don’t think
about the bad things. Like I think about them,
I deal with them, they’re a reality,
I don’t dwell on them, I spit them out and
I move forward. I think this is a very
personal question Joe. I think it’s like work/life balance. I don’t have an interest
in sitting on this show trying to force
somebody right now that had a very horrible
thing happen to them, and they’re going to write a
blog post about it tomorrow, and they weren’t
emotionally ready, and they can’t deal
with the repercussions of putting it out there. That is not my place, but I will say that everybody, if you can get there, I think there’s a lot
of healthiness to it. – [India] From Matthew, what
was it like to go around?

“the Jets with regards to
their effect on your mood “as a strength or weakness?” – India, you’re really
picking some doozies. Do I… Do I…? – [India] Do you see your
reliance on, like, the fact that the Jets has such an effect on your mood– – Do I see the Jets impacting
me so much on a Monday, as a strength or weakness? A strength. It means I’m
emotionally in tune with myself, which I deploy in other places. See, this is the whole– You know, I’m gonna
actually turn this question into a really good question. The disproportionate amount of you, who are not winning as much– And I’m not trying to
zing, I love you guys. But I believe a lot of the
people who are watching this right now who are not winning,
back to the cursing question, are looking at things too
much at a micro level. You look at, and people assume– And a lot of people believe,
“Oh that’s a weakness. You’re wasting a half a day,
or a day, or you’re not as efficient as you can on a Monday.” I view it at a much higher level
of if I’m capable of caring about something so much, and
allowing it to affect my mood, that means that my emotional
intelligence is at such a high level, that those are
some of the strengths that allow me to do all the things
that I do, and have the intuition around how
people feel about things, hence the HR question, hence the culture, hence the business success,
hence where consumers are going with their feelings,
my feeling skills are– I’m proud that I cry– I cry, I went to Hamilton,
there was a part in the play that I was almost crying,
I cry all the time. When the Lion King’s
dad died in Lion King, I was on a date in high
school and I cried. You know how wimpus that
is? That’s like the anti– Pam, you like that? – I did too. – Yeah. Beaches? And Steel Magnolias? I cried like a fucking waterfall. So those are feelings,
those are my strengths. I see it as a strength.

– John I would argue that entrepreneurs should
be soft at business, I lead with my heart. I made 13 decisions today
that were predicated not on the dollars, but
on what made me feel good, what feels right and
what the lifetime value of that decision is, how
it’s gonna impact others. So I think there’s a
completely wrong point of view that you need to be raw, unemotional. Family businesses don’t stay
in business for 54 years if they made just decisions on the black and white bottom-line. I’m sure, what are some of the longer, tenured employees over here. Get over here, Isaac. – We have employees for 26, 27 years. – And you don’t get there by just making black and
white financial decisions. – No. – I assume that you made tons of decisions that didn’t make the financial
sense at that moment? – We use common sense, common sense and we have a culture where
people love to work here, they’re all involved,
everybody has an idea, we listen to everybody’s idea and they make a difference. – All right, Isaac, you gonna keep talking I’m gonna lose the show,
they’re gonna be the Isaac Show, I’m gonna be out of
business, get out of here. – [Isaac] You called me. – I’m sorry but I messed up. The bottom line is that’s it guys, you’re not in business for 54 years, two generations, three generations. You gotta make calls that don’t
just lead with your wallet, it needs to come with your heart. I actually think the future of entrepreneurship
businesses that are big will actually be considered
soft by today’s standards. Because if you’re gonna go too hard, there’s too many alternatives
for people to do other things than to work in that environment as all these opportunities arise. So I’m a proud, soft entrepreneur. – [Voiceover] MAngiolillo
says, “Waiting for “Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook to
ship from Amazon, and asks,

– The dislike button. This might have to be an article as well. I don’t know a lot about it and I think you know, Ben Leventhal, the CEO of Resy, aforementioned in the prior video and I had dinner last night
strategizing around Resy. Download it if you’re in LA,
New York, Miami, Washington DC. R-E-S-Y. You know what Staphon? Put a glove on me there
when I did the right hook. Oh, my man! This wonderful man is going
to be shadowing me today. Hey brother! – You never said I was joining it. – Good to see you. I’m live by the way. – Oh. – You can just sit. I’m finishing up the show. So the dislike button introduces
some interesting stuff. Ben’s point was when negativity
comes into the ecosystem, it can really crash and burn a platform. He was talking about how
Twitter got more negative after the Kumbya moments
of 2007, eight, nine. And there’s a lot of truth to that. To me the dislike button allows Facebook to make its algorithm even stronger. But that was kind of how
I first thought about it as if it was a hide, you wouldn’t know. But it seems to me, and
this is where I think Facebook may have a problem. It seems to me that they want to, in the quotes that I read late last night. It was two o’ clock in the morning when I wanted to read it real fast. So I haven’t invested in
a very smart answer yet on this Steve or Derek, thank
you for asking the question. It seems that they want to allow people to express other emotions. To me where I think
they’re going with this is we see a lot of
people post, for example, we see my friend Drew
is an incredible friend. And his father passed away. And he wrote an incredible piece and it was a beautiful picture of his dad and a wonderful peace about how hardcore of a Philly sports fan he
was, which kind of struck me. I kind of already even
thought about my own demise and how my kids were going
to talk about my Jets fandom of how he was a fan and
then he bought the team. What an amazing man he was. But that’s not what makes him amazing. He was the best dad. I’m giving you guys some material Xander. So I think that what Facebook is trying to figure out a cadence around is you look and a lot of
people are hitting like. And there’s all these life events that maybe you wouldn’t in real life, in real communication say I like that. There’s other things. Now I don’t know if you’re
going to say dislike to that. But I think what Facebook is
starting to show with this move and clearly has a enormous upside in its continuation of evolution. Very similar to my first
answer on the Snapchat question is I can see an environment
where multiple buttons exist. We have a much stronger way
to express our actual thoughts on the content we’re seeing in front of us and that intelligence becomes the backbone of making a much better
product for Facebook itself. Anybody who’s into data science or understands how these things work and even if you just deploy common sense, you recognize that the like is too broad for Facebook to do enough with that data to make the product better. So if they had more options
to create more context, they’d be able to create a
far better curated experience. So I think that’s what they’re up to. It’s intriguing to me that
it’s a dislike button. You know, if my thesis was right, my intuition is that they would go with a different kind of button and that’s why I’m not so sold that I’m right with my
point of view there. But those are the curiosities that are running through my head. So what do I, to answer
it black and white, what I think about, actually turn me into black and white here even though it’s part of the official show because I think that’s funny to
answer it black and white. Thank you Staphon. Actually, no, go back to color because the show’s always
full time in color. But in that one little weird
period make it black and white. I think it’s a very clever
and very important step. One that I do believe has major impact. And one that this market will look back at five years from now and recognize it was a massive moment in Facebook’s, you know, lineage, including
it became a chip aaway at becoming more negative and not going in the right direction or started creating the framework for even smarter better experiences for all of us on their platform. And don’t forget that platform deploys to Instagram so
a lot of you are saying “Yeah, but I’m not there any more.” Oh yes you are. It’s called Instagram. You live there. And so I think it’s important. I’m excited to see what happens with it. That’s it? Good show.