#AskGaryVee Episode 157: Lewis Howes Answers Questions on the Show

“important decisions do
you trust your own gut “and experience or do you
count on some advisor as well?” – Who’s your go-to person
on a real decision? Do you have one? – You know, it used to be my Dad, but he had a pretty extreme car
accident about 10 years ago, so he can’t really
comprehend certain things at that level anymore. But I go to a guy named Stewart Jenkins. Who works at a big brand called Deckers, a billion dollar shoe company that owns Ugg and Timba,
and some of those brands. And he’s just like a straight
shooter, tells me how it is, great family guy. – Doesn’t try to pander to what you want to hear?
– [Lewis] He doesn’t deal with my ego he just tells me. He’s got such good integrity and morals. – That’s why I don’t speak to anybody, I don’t want anybody touching my ego. – (laughs) Exactly. So I talk to him with real
issues that speak to the heart. – What percentage of decisions
do you make on your gut? – A lot. – Like what percentage? – Probably 100%. – OK, so you really don’t
give a shit what Stewart says. – No, I advise with
everyone on tough decisions but I always know the answer. – Got it. – You know what I mean,
it’s like I know the answer, but I feel like I have to make sure.
– [Gary] Has anybody wavered you from the answer? – People have given me different opinions but I always know, yes, they have. They have, they waver
me, and then I realize I shouldn’t have taken that advice. – So at times, where you
haven’t gone with your gut and you’ve gone with people
that you think have made it or other things, it hasn’t paid off, so you’re now defaulting
as you’re maturing into your own place.
– [Lewis] Yes. – [Gary] I mean for me,
I’ve always been that way. And I think that what happened,
it’s interesting to hear your perspective, it’s fun
to have guests a little bit because you would’ve gotten my answer of you know, no! I respect my Mom and Dad
and things of that nature, but I don’t even, I love them with all of my heart, I just make my own decisions. I don’t know what else to say about this. But it’s interesting that– – I come from an athlete background, so I was constantly coached,
constantly getting feedback. So I like to have the coaching, – That makes sense. – in an environment so
I can just take action and apply the information. But a lot of the times, I know the answer, it’s just trusting
myself a hundred percent. – That makes a lot of sense. I think the one thing that is
an actual item of this show taking the theme from your book and we’ll continue to act on it. I think you should really try,
if you’re watching the show, to try the opposite on the
next decent sized decision. As long as it’s not a top
three decision in your life, then do you. If it’s a fourth biggest
decision type of thing, try the other way as context. I may even try this, no I can’t. But (laughs) that didn’t even last a sentence. But, I think that would be interesting. Because I’m intrigued by
you ending up in this place. My intuition is a lot of
people end up in that place as they get older and older,
because at some level, you’d rather, for me, I’d
rather go down my way. That to me is probably the thing. When you’re making real decisions there’s upside and there’s downside. That’s why they’re big decisions. If I’m gonna go down, I wanna go down because I screwed up. Not because somebody else gave me advice and it just didn’t work out. That’s just, yeah, alright India. – I think that segues really
well into the next question. – [Gary] Oh, a lot of segueing going on.

– [Voiceover] Gabriel asks,
“What is the best example “in your life, where your ego
has gotten the best of you? “How significant was it in retrospect?” – Well, this is great, right, because you’ve already dropped ego. I almost called this The Ego Show. So you know, what was the question? – When the ego got the best of you? – [India] And how significant
was it in retrospect? – Oh my gosh, should I go? – Sure. Yeah go ahead. – For me, oh man. Any relationship that I’ve been in I allow my ego to get the
best of me in the past. Where it’s like–
– With, like, girls you mean? – Yes, yes.
– [Gary] Okay, go ahead. – [Lewis] And then it just
affects me, it like consumes every decision.
– [Gary] What’s the ego part? Like you think you’re hotter than them? – No, no, it’s like after we break up or end things, it’s like– – You don’t wanna call first? And say, “That was a cool run”? – I don’t know it’s just like
I’m still holding onto things and I can’t let certain
things go, and I’m mad still or pissed, or why it didn’t work out. And that, holding onto things as opposed to fully letting go, – Yeah. – will hold me back in
other areas of my life, and just my health, my business. Like making clear decisions. And that ego, I gotta fully
let go in those situations. – Interesting. – What about you? – For me, I think with ego, I think it’s things that I don’t know. – I thought you know everything. – Well, I know everything
that actually has happened. So, maybe my ego of recognizing, well no, hear me out India. Like, let me give you an example. I know you’re laughing over
there and having a good time. Let me explain. I would tell you that I slash, it was the right business
decision, but ego of not doing a lot of television
shows because I feel like the world’s gonna change
and I’ll wanna own the IP, maybe kept me away from being
50 thousand times bigger because clearly I’d be incredible. I’d probably be the biggest TV star in TV if I decided to do a TV show.
– [Lewis] Why haven’t you still done a show? – [Gary] Because I still believe
in this thesis which is– – Why can’t you do both? – You can, you can! – What are you waiting for? – You know I’m busy as shit here, what do you think is going on? I’m busy! – I’m overwhelmed just being in here. – You’re on one of the
three floors of four offices like there’s a lot going on. So I wonder if ego has kept
me away from mainstream media. – But, you were just on
Bloomberg this morning, right? – Yeah, that’s different
than hosting a show. – You’d be the biggest TV
personality in the world. – I believe that Lewis, say it again. India, you say it too. – You would be the biggest TV personality in the world.
– [India] You want me to say? – Yeah, I want you to say it because I know you don’t want to say it. No, I want you to say it. – You’d be so huge on television. – [Gary] No, see what she did, she hedged. – Nobody would ever be able
to be on TV after you again. – That was good. Cut that clip for me,
DRock, just a ringtone. I think there’s been an
enormous amount of things that have impacted me, predicated my ego. I just don’t know what they are because they’re the
things that I didn’t do, versus the things that I did. The things that I’ve done with
my ego, I know the outcomes. They’ve all been pretty damn positive. It’s the things that I’m passing on, that I can never play out and
know what would have happened. That’s where my upside is on the table. Me being bigger, financially, brand, happiness, opportunity, me
being bigger is predicated on my no’s, not my yes’s. – What would be the ultimate
show that you could have on any network, any time? Who would you be doing it with? Would it be yourself? What topic? – You know what’s funny, I’ve
thought about that a lot. And I don’t think about it a lot. Meaning, I used to think about the format, what would I want to do. I’m so not in the mindset of
having a TV show right now. I’m so enjoying this. I’m enjoying the way I’m
going about marketing this and the white spaces and
where the world’s going and how over the top
is changing the world. Look, if I had a business show on Netflix, if Netflix came to me right now
and said we want to make you our business show, that would
be really tough to say no to. So I would say that,
because it’s of the moment. – Really, not mainstream cable or network, or anything like that? – No, because I’d rather
go to where the pucks going and I’d rather be part
of the narrative of, you know those shows, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black,
whatever sports deal they do, and then that business show. That’s where they competed
with CNBC, ya know? – That’s what I did with the
podcast, I saw the opportunity. – Yeah, that’s exactly right. And that’s where the upside is, you wait and you let the puck come to you. I would say CNBC and Bloomberg
are interesting to me because it’s just right
down the pipe of business. Yeah, I just can’t get there. India? – This one, we’re both
wearing all black today.

“Just lost one and I’m mad as hell.” – Yeah, mad as hell is good. I think mad as hell is appropriate. When I lose a client, the
first thing that I think about is what did I do wrong? And then, most of the
time I have an answer. If I don’t have an answer,
I try to figure it out. But, I’m pretty interesting when it comes to losing a client. I’m very much onto the next one. I on the other hand am very lucky. Listening to you is really interesting. I was sitting here and saying my god, my ability to dump and
move on in any situation, relationships, business,
it’s the game for me. It’s why I’m always in a good mood. I literally sit on bad news and bad stuff for fractions of seconds. DRock’s shaking his head, right? – What about with intimate
or personal relationships, with friends or family? Now do you just say screw you,
I’m off to the next person? – I haven’t really lost
anybody who I would call in my most inner circle. I’ve had relationships
that have, like, my longest girlfriend relationships
that ended were predicated on me sitting on it longer than, it was in my head for a long time anyway. So, yeah, I mean, I don’t know. I’ve been very blessed that
somebody that meant the world to me hasn’t decided to leave me. So that’s one part of it. And, the other part is, I haven’t, outside of a couple long-term girlfriend relationships, I
haven’t parted from anything that’s been in my inner core. In business, I’ve had to fire
people I care a lot about. But, I’ve come to a
place where I recognize that I was doing more
harm by keeping them here and giving them no growth
here, Wine Library. So, yeah, that’s that.

at Collision 2016 in New Orleans. I’ve never been to an event like this, so I’m not really sure
what to prepare for, how to prepare for it. I was wondering, what would
you do if you were in my shoes, if you were going to not
necessarily look for money, but more looking to make contacts? I’d appreciate any information, any insights you might
have on the situation. Thanks, Gary.
– [Gary] That’s real nice. Jarek, really legit American
flag waving so beautifully in the background. I did notice the Giants t-shirt, so I’m a little bit pissed with Jarek now. Lewis any thoughts on that? I think you wanted to establish your name in the marketing and business world. I assume you started
going to a lot of events for the first time through
the last half decade? How did you approach it? – I remember when I was
broke, on my sister’s couch, I took a Greyhound to one
of my first events in 2008. It was in New York. It was like a sports
film festival in Philly. I took a Greyhound,
and I had a suit jacket and a carry-on case. I remember I had a hostel
room that I got for like $17. Because I knew the value. I met a guy named Ben
Sterner, who I think you know who works out of here. He was like, “You’ve got
to come to this event. “You’re gonna meet a
lot of powerful people “that’s gonna help your business, “your relationships, your brand.” So I was like I gotta get there. I rented a hostel for $17 the first night. I walk in, late at night and there’s throw-up all over the ground. There’s throw-up all over the
floor, all over the bathroom, and 20 snoring, European guys in the room. But I knew the value right
when I got to this event how important it was to connect with influencers and powerful individuals. And I stayed up all night with people and just built a relationship with them. It wasn’t about being at the event it was figuring out where people
were going after the event. And getting in with their friends and then creating friendships with people. I never talked about
business or asked for advice. I just said, “What’s
going on in your life?” Like how can we be buddy-buddy? And, let’s do thumb-wrestling
wars, whatever, like I did with you in 2009 or something. It’s like let’s have fun
as opposed to talking about the thing you don’t want
to talk about right now. – You know to me, Jarek, I think
it’s a really good question and I think that’s right. I think at some level, if
you’re not meeting people, you’re not hitting on your KPI. I think Lewis speaks to
patience in a relationship, I think it really matters. Trying to throw around your business card or pitch your business, is
completely the opposite move. – Not to cut you off,
but to set an example, I’ve been essentially jabbing
for six years with you. – That’s right. – I never asked for anything. – I bought a shit-load of these books. – But I’ve never asked for anything except for
– [Gary] This book. – [Lewis] The blurb on the back. Which you know. – Which is a big deal because I don’t like giving them out. – And also hey, can I come on the show. And, you bought some books, yes. – Which is my own advice, right? I talk about that a lot which
is cash in all those chips when you’ve got your signature moment. Like you need this to do well. It’s another watershed
moment in your career. – Before, what was that guy’s name again? – Jarek. – For Jarek, I would not
ask anyone for support or help right now. I would just say how can I give
that person a relationship. – Listening to Lewis’ narrative, Jarek, I think one of the
biggest things that people make mistakes for, is
they go for short-term nickels and dimes instead
of long-term dollars. So, if you find, the more
important the person you encounter in New Orleans, the more you
should not ask for anything. Too many times, the amount
of people that roll up on me, I have no idea who they are,
and they want $100,000 from me because they’re gonna
help me buy the Jets. It’s pretty intense, there’s no context. It’s not the right move. Again, back to his story. Go sleep with 20 snoring
throw-up dudes for $17 if you’ve got a practical
financial problem. Have the humility to go
sleep on your sister’s couch, if you have a financial problem. If your financial problem
needs to be solved by you going to the most important people on first impact and asking for $25,000, you’ve put yourself in a bad position. So I think what you need to do
is put yourself in a position where you put no pressure on yourself to close at this event,
but build at this event. – And look at the long-term. Think of relationships for
five years down the line. – Hundred percent, India? – Last one from Adam.

“be the ultimate Achilles
heel for Social Networks “including Facebook?” – I’ll jump in here. The answer is no, because
there’s a pendulum swing. The reason Snapchat
grew was because it was a safer place, a place
that stuff would disappear. I actually think the
next wave is gonna be, I think they’ll be more
closed over the next decade. You’ve got Cyber Dust, Cube’s thing, you’ve got Snapchat. I think there’s more room for that. I think there will be another one or two. I think the reason WhatsApp and
other things of that nature, messaging apps are doing
well is in theory to people, it’s closed by comparison. But I think actually
in the long long-term, 10, 12, you know 8, 10, 12 years from now there will be another push back to open. It’s generational, right? It’s like fashion. It goes through ebbs and flows. As a matter of fact, with
everybody being so kind of hipster and the way everybody is now, the other day I was thinking,
“Crap, I wonder where “like when are we gonna
go conservative again?” Like when everybody got
the Friends haircut. I’m curious and I was
thinking about grunge, which was crazy weird. Anyway, it made me think about that and that’s how I think
about Social Networks. This is the mood of a generation. The 60’s were different
than the 70s and the 80s and 90s and 2000s. I definitely think people
will freak out about privacy. I think Ashley Madison is
a proxy to other things. Just imagine now all of us,
if all of our information of every text, email and
engagement, and I mean texts and WhatsApps and whatever
else you’re using to creep. Tinder. Imagine all those conversations plop out and they’re just searchable. Literally Lewis, everything
you’ve said digitally. Yeah, and so I actually
think that happens. And then I think Nirvana happens because everybody realizes
how flawed everybody is. So, I’ve got a very weird,
positive point of view in where this all goes. I think there’ll be
some, I do think privacy will contain people to
some different behaviors. But I actually think if you
play the chess moves out, everybody’s laundry gets aired out, which changes society forever. And we roll in a completely different way and the things we accept as
norms, the way we think about interpersonal relationships
and what makes a good person and what makes a good
person and a bad person, fundamentally changes with
the great data breach of 2022. – Because everyone, we realize
that everyone’s a freak. – Well, I mean (laughs) you
take it where you want, Lewis. But I definitely think that
that’s a real possibility. I think that– – When do you think that will happen by? – I don’t know. – I like your predictions. – I don’t like to predict
things that I don’t, I like to predict things
that already happened that everybody didn’t
realize they happened. This way I’m right. I think that, I just think
it’s a real possibility and I definitely live my
life with all my flaws and what have you with the
knowledge of that could happen, and we have to be prepared
for the repercussions of, like I always say the right
thing is always the right thing. Like the end score is the end score. If you do wrong things
by today’s standards and they become aware, you’ll
have to deal with that. – So do you like that you
put yourself out there in such an authentic
way, a vulnerable way, a lot of times where you
talk about your flaws because then, if it does come out people are like, it doesn’t matter. – But I’m a human being,
I think a lot about when I’m doing things in
a very private setting, how that maps to my public persona. Like if this hits the fan,
does that undermine what I’m saying and I try to stay in
that lane because it will still at least make sense in my narrative. You can’t be the person that says like that holier-than-thou guy
that was cheating on his wife. You can’t be like the prosecutor and go after prostitution
when you’re using prostitutes. America will not accept
that complete insanity. The world will accept if you waiver. I think we all know we have skeletons. I don’t even wanna know what
the (beep) Steve’s up to. – Thanks Gary, I appreciate that. – You’re welcome, no worries. I think that we, I’m excited and I hope I live through seeing it. And I may not. It might be much longer,
but I do want to see, I’m very, I wish people
lived the life that I live which is, of course I judge people, but boy do I unjudge them very quickly. Humans are flawed, like in so many ways, and we need to start accepting
our shortcomings a lot more and I wonder if this data
thing, which sounds scary, privacy’s gonna go away,
it’s very, it’s Armageddon. But I actually think
it’s the starting point to a better society. – I like it.
– Yeah, interesting, right?