#AskGaryVee Episode 102: Patience, Headlines, & Dads Joining Instagram

“What kind of headlines
attract you on social media?” – Lyndon, it’s a great question. I think the interesting
part about this question is I think a lot of different
headlines attract me and I think the headline
copy reading call it the Buzzfeed-ification of Media is fully in play now. I mean, when you go look with a, it’d be fun to ask
Steve this question. It probably hurts your, actually nah, that’s not true. I’m curious what your take is on the fact that like the New York
Times now does this, right? Like literally the whole
world has gone slang and five, you know, ways to do this. Like it’s all headline copy marketing. It’s the stuff I built Wine Library on on email marketing headlines. It’s just become the game. I’m not quite sure exactly
what’s grabbing my attention. Usually it’s around the subject matter, so usually things that scare me, like, “Jets running backs in trouble.” Oh no! You know, like? But I’m not sure but the reason I wanted to answer the question is because I think it’s very important for everybody who’s watching the show. I know a lot of people
here are go-getters, entrepreneurs, and do-gooders, whether you’re trying to
raise money for your charity or whether you’re trying to sell a boot for the winter, you need to really think about the copy on everything you put out. It is an absolute variable to success. You can follow all the structural advice that I’m giving you, but when you get to writing the copy on a Facebook dark post or a
Pinterest post or on Twitter, if you’re not good at that, if you’re not good at
grabbing someone’s attention, you’re in big trouble and so I’m not sure what’s
grabbing my attention but I know that the
person behind writing it is doing a good job.

– [Voiceover] Bruce asks, “Why is Twitter “so much like a wall
in a public bathroom?” – Bruce, this is a tremendous question. I think the, I would argue that it’s not. I would argue that Secret was more like a public bathroom because you don’t know who wrote it. And I think that what’s scarier probably by your rant is that people are actually putting their
faces behind these comments that you think are so lame or interesting or aggressive or however
you’re positioning it. So I would argue that they’re not. I think that they’re, Twitter’s much more like, you know, a cocktail party where people are just making statements or a gathering of friends or you know less of the bathroom stall. To me that’s Secret and all the other anonymous, Yik Yak, and all the other anonymous place. That’s more the psychology. You write something that
nobody can attribute to you. Bathroom business jargon.

“What are some easy ways
to become more self-aware?” – TagLine Tom! I think there’s one hack for
becoming more self-aware, which is asking people around you and creating a safe zone, a permission for them to actually tell you about you from their perspective, and it’s on you to create that safe place so that they actually tell you things that you may not wanna hear, because what I think could happen is that you get chipped
away at and I think that ultimately if you
hear enough people say that you you’re too kind or too aggressive or full of shit or whatever it
is that eventually, you know, I gotta stop cursing ’cause
all the Facebook posts now you guys need to beep. That’s extra work for you guys. I like how you guys (mumbles). (laughing offscreen) You know I think that
that’s the one place, that’s the only hack I know. I don’t think there’s any other move. I think it’s about
getting people to tell you about yourself in safe environments. Be aggressive about that. Really seek out that feedback and then be man enough, woman enough, to eat it, really. And the way you get more of it is when a friend of you says, “I think you’re a little full of crap.” You know, you don’t end that relationship. You triple down on that relationship ’cause they’re givin’ it to you. And that’s, if you really
want self-awareness, you need to wildly, if you
wanna hack self-awareness I actually think it’s
predicated on having thick skin. I think that is why,
I really think so much of what I pull off is predicated
on how thick my skin is. My skin is thick. You know, I just can handle it. I just can. I hate it. I hate it! I hate, like, reading, like, you know, bad stuff about me. It’s devastating. But I respect it. I can accept it. I understand it. And I try to use it as something that I go on the offense
with going forward and so they’re learning moments and so, you know, if you
could get over yourself, right, and the funny
thing is, I don’t know, I feel like I’m so
self-aware I’m not sure if, I think but I, you know, even like, even people that I think are
not self-aware around me, it’s funny to me how
self-aware they really are. It’s just you don’t let your brain accept your shortcomings. As we, oh, the self-awareness video. This’d be a good time to click it up. If you haven’t seen this, this is some of the best work. Who is this? This was DRock or Stephan? Stephan, this is great. This was great, this was great. Show him. This was great. Show him, show him. Great. Watch the video. Link it up and like show a little still. You know what? DRock, end in like a little, I want 13 seconds of it. Your choice, go. – [Voiceover] This is a word
that is rarely talked about in our space that I wanna start building more attention for. Self-awareness. I wanna deliver on this message so much. I would create a test or a drug that allowed people to become self-aware. One potion inject. Not hustle, not smart. Self-awareness. I don’t fear being self-aware. – All right, let’s keep going. – [Voiceover] Stephanie asks,

“Like why is my dad
following me on Instagram? “Like noo that’s unacceptable.” – Stephanie, I have bad news. Every social network that you go to to try to get away from Pops, when they hit scale,
Pops is gonna show up. Hey Stephanie? It’s your dad! This knick knack thing is real cool! That’s what’s gonna always happen for the rest of your life. And by the way, let me get a little bit deeper on that. Steve, you were about to say something. – I was just gonna say something
for the end of the show. Hold it til the end of the show. – Do it, do it, ruin the end of the show. – We’re on Spotify! – Whaddya mean? – You excited? I’m excited, we’re on Spotify. The #AskGaryVee Show. – It’s on Spotify? – I sent you four emails yesterday. (laughing offscreen) – Guess it was a busy day. That is cool. – [Steve] Yeah. – We’re on, see? It was a black and white announcement. This is a black and white announcement. We’re on Spotify. This was not a color announcement. This was a black and white announcement. We’re on Spotify. – [Steve] Her dad’s on Spotify, too. – And Stephanie, going back to you, and the entire VaynerNation, soon you’ll be a part of it, Stephanie. Yes you will. You know, I know it was weird, that creep Alex hit you up that somebody answered your question
on Twitter randomly. I love this whole thing. Making Alex the creepy
guy is so fun for me. (laughing offscreen) Look, that’s what just happens, right? It happened with Facebook, it’s happening right now with Instagram. The youth establishes these new kind of community centers for our society and then everybody follows. That’s a very interesting dynamic because I think that’s the reverse of the way human nature has been for a very long time. And so I think that the
youth culture of our society is now establishing the
main community centers. Not the hot new club. That’s different. This is the out and out community centers of our society. It’s going to have very
massive long-term effects on us as humans. I think that’s why we’re living through a youthification that I talk a lot about. And so that’s why it’s
happening, Stephanie.

“How do you balance
speed/hustle and patience?” Johannes is such a great name. I really like that one. It’s like Johanne and Pocahontas. (laughing offscreen) No, seriously. (multiple people speaking
at once offscreen) You weren’t thinking that? That’s what I was thinking. I was thinking that Johan Santana was dating Pocahontas and they were known as a couple as Johanntes. (person speaking indistinctly offscreen) Johan said there’s a real baseball player, leftie, and Pocahontas
is obviously Pocahontas. Okay, let’s go to it. (laughing offscreen) Obviously, this is. (laughing) I got it, Johannes. Right? – [Voiceover] (mumbles) (laughing) This is the best question
because the truth is I really believe that I’m a bridge, right? I’m pulling equally, very aggressively from both sides. That I’m a human contradiction. That if you really watch this show and it throws people off, as they get deeper into my content, that oftentimes I’m saying things that contradict themselves
’cause the truth is they both live in real
life at the same time and it’s about finding
that cadence and balance to guide through. I am massively, at a
global level, patient. But on a practical level,
and an execution level, I’m very fast, right? So it’s really, it really is
religion and church, right? Like at the highest,
like at the theoretical, at the, at the grey levels
of patient, long game, I’m aware that as long as I’m alive, I’m playing the businessman game and it doesn’t end tomorrow and if it ends tomorrow, I don’t know the outcome
anyway ’cause I’m dead. Right? And so, but in real life, I understand it’s a race and speed is a variable for
success to me in a big way. Hustle, and so like they’re, patience and speed are very much rubbing against each other but it’s like the diamond
comes from that, right? And so that’s the thing
that I think about. I find it very easy to do both. You have to understand, there’s people that are both in practical
and philosophical terms, and they have different outcomes. AKA there’s people that philosophically are not patient. They’re impatient. And they’re fast. And they look like the bad
version of what I am, right? They’re like hustlers and they’re like doing everything for themselves and they’re not patient. They don’t care about the long game and they’re just gonna take and they’re just gonna
take and take and take and gonna take fast and they’re gonna gather and I think that society,
the game rewards them and there’s a lot of
millionaires and billionaires that didn’t do it the right way and that’s what I think they look like. Then there’s a lot of people that are massively patient and slow, and those are the
enormous amount of people that, you know, in a business context, not in life, they’re probably some of the loveliest human beings that have ever been made because they’re slow and they’re patient and everything’s just lovely and let’s just like sit on the porch and, you know, drink peach tea for the rest of our
lives and like go slow. Just go real slow. Like let’s sit and look at stuff. Like let’s sit on the porch and look. Like look at stuff. Like a car just drove by. Great. Like I mean that, you know, is not interesting to me, either, and so that exists. So I actually think
what I do exists a lot. I think it’s the likable,
you know, aggressive person. And that’s, you know, they’re out there and there’s a lot of winners
that are good people. I really think that. If you look at my analogies, the speed part is really valuable, right? Like if you’re speedy and
selfish and impatient, you know, I think the other thing about the lack of patience and fast, you don’t have to be a bad person. I think it leads to mistakes. Right? That’s another variable layer here. You know, it’s funny that my brain went that first narrative. Here’s a second narrative. You’re going fast, you’re not patient, so you rush the outcome and you leave money on the table. You sold a company too soon. You weren’t as profitable as you could’ve been
because you missed things ’cause you didn’t see it
’cause you weren’t tactful. And so, you know, I think
it has essence of strategy. You know, somebody once said to me about Vayner, “Gary, you guys are so interesting.” He was trying to zing me a little bit, that we weren’t strategic enough. He said, “You’re so interesting,” but he’s like, “When
you get into the house, “I feel like a lot of times you guys “just run through the glass window “instead of opening the door.” It was a funny analogy. And then I looked at him and said, “Yeah, but we’re gonna own all the homes.” (laughing offscreen) I guess that’s a good way to end it. – [India] That’s good.